Surviving in Riverdale

I knew

But there was nothing i can do

I was trapped

Scared

Going out of my mind

Didnt know.

What to do.

I got very sick.

Because you terrorized me.

My world became smaller.

Before i knew it all i had was you.

I didnt want this.

I didnt ask for this.

I tried.

I tried so hard.

To leave.

To get  help.

No one came.

I was alone.

I started not wanting to live

I could not see a future for myself

I was miserable 

I felt like a toy

And object

I felt like i was just  a puppet on a string

A doll

I loved myself

That was what hurt  the most

I just hated my life.

I wanted out.

And no one would give me an out.

I was alone and unheard

Judged and silenced

By the police

They arrested me

And punished me

I was branded crazy.

But the whole  system was crazy.

It wasnt me.

I just didnt get it.

I wanted to be safe  and get away from you

I didnt want you

I didnt love you

I hated you

I was scared of you

But you became the only  person  i could rely on

You became a God to me

You held my life in your hands

But you were mentally unstable 

Insecure cruel and evil

Selfish and scared yourself

It terrifed me

I had to listen to you

And follow you

Because you were so blind

And messed up

But you were the only one surprisingly who cared

Or acted like they cared

When you were there for me

You were there for me

But it never lasted long

Within  minutes i was your enemy

I knew it was wrong

I hated it

I didnt want to have to stand for it

And you  were so angry at me

Because i didnt want you to control  me

I didnt want to bow down

I didnt want to loose myself to you .

Because you didnt even know who the fuck you were

But you loved it

You loved the chase

You loved the "challenge"

Byt the challenge was really me struggling against your control

I just wanted to be me

There was nothing wrong with me

Never was.

I was who i was

I was playing the game of life the best way i knew

And you judged me

Put me down

Because you could never fucking understand how hard it was to be me

I had to fight a million versions of you

In some form or another

Almost every day

I was nothing by society

A slut

Bitch

Whore

Dirty

Crazy

Evil

Wrong

Stupid

To them

And to you

How the fuck could i fucking win?

Either way i wasnt winning

And still you punished me

And fucked me over.