Wednesday Morning in New Diary

I am feeling a bit better I talked with my therapist about my situation. He gave me some helpful insights. First he said the caregiver crossed professional boundaries. I agreed with that. I also said she apologized t o her and would never do it again. He said I did nothing wrong but I was paying the price for it. He also said I need to make a choice. It is either the caregiver or Anne. I said I’m not firing the caregiver. I guess I made my choice.

I also said I was really hurt and mad. We have been together for over ten years. Never once have I cheated or lied to her. I was hurt because she could not trust me. Therapist said he could see my point of view. But he also understood where she was coming from. After thinking about it I guess she does have a valid point. In her eyes it is like I chose the caregiver over her and a ten year relationship. In my eyes I didn’t chose her. I kept telling her I am not interested in the so called other woman. I am not interested in anyone else and don’t really want anyone else.

As it stands now it is over. Therapist said she is not likely to come back if the caregiver is around. I kept saying to him I am not going to fire her because she is a good worker. I need a good worker. Therapist said if it had been him he would always choose his wife even if she is wrong. If that makes me a piece of shit for not choosing her then I must be a piece of shit. I made my choice and I am not backing down.

After the therapy appointment case manager took ne to Wal Mart. I bought groceries and a few cleaning supplies. Groceries came to $136.85. We stopped at Gumby’s on the hill and I got my cigars for the month,. Order came to about $43 something,. Also got some good news. I got a $96 credit from Norton .I will not have to pay that back. I am doing good. Life is good