I'm alright, I'll be okay in Book Five: Working Through the Maze 2018

I did NOT want to get out of bed today. Exhausted. Pained. Just… not at all interested in going to work.

Dragged myself out of bed. Discovered I was not the first person in the office today (for a change) but that was due entirely to White Boss having an 8:30 hearing that he either could not or decided not to shove onto me.

However, there was a “Translation” that I was asked to help with by Chinese Boss… and of course it is unpaid.

Then, because I’m in this mood, I started writing an e-mail to Chinese Boss demanding the paperwork she’s said she had since Monday. Every day I remind her, “If you have that paperwork, I need it by Friday so we can file it on time.” Every. Day. She finally sent it to me this afternoon. It is a document. It is a document that needs to be sent to a prosecutor for review and subsequent signature. All of this has been explained. Repeatedly. What I am sent is 4 photographs of each page of the document. As separate items. That can neither be downloaded or printed. So… thanks, stupid one. You’ve literally done the very least that I asked you. You sent me the documents that the client signed. But I can’t use them. So it is like I didn’t receive them at all. And do you know what? Other attorneys don’t have to deal with shit to this level of stupid. Because other attorneys aren’t trying to cover an entire state with only 3 people… other attorneys aren’t trying to be in 9 other states with only 3 people. If you need a client to sign something… it doesn’t need to be this big E-Mail snafu. You have them come to your office. Or you go to their home. You have them put their name on a single line of paper. EASY. Unless, of course, you are trying to do business in a city that is 114 miles away without ever going there. Yeah. Then there are issues.

So I sent Chinese Boss the following: “For some reason the version sent can’t be downloaded via our PDF reader and I can’t print them to then insert into our PDF reader.” Which she responds “Can you print them out and scan them?”

Holy. Fucking. Christ.

Granted, I used “technical terms” but what I stated was “Our system cannot read these documents. I can’t print them and then scan them” to which she asks “Can you print them and scan them?”
(EXPLOSION) Granted… that explosion comes from multiple sources. First: If Chinese Boss asked me to review something and file it… and it took me four days to do so… whether it was the client’s fault or not, I would be strung up. Second: If Chinese Boss asked me to send her a file she could file with the courts… and I sent her a photograph through SnapChat (which is what she basically did)… I would be strung up. I am honestly, genuinely starting to become suspicious that Chinese Boss just… has different standards for Chinese and White. Chinese people can do no wrong, White People are just the worst.

This is good. Not healthy to focus on, of course, but if I can keep this shit in mind… it will make finalizing my departure easier. I hope.

And if that doesn’t… here is an interesting article that shows having strong friendships in the office is a fairly significant key to success: http://www.ketv.com/article/work-friends-key-to-career-success/16674045

Which… I don’t know if this is just… me being an asshole… but of people that are in jobs that you enjoy or at least like somewhat… how many of you work almost entirely by yourself? I’m curious because… that is a big element for me. Tiny Town was rough because… literally, the only other attorney in my office worked 20 miles away. Here is rough because… well… there is Chinese Boss and White Boss as attorneys… and Muse and Dylan as staff. And that’s everybody who works here. In a firm that has 3 offices. Spread out throughout the state of Iowa. Granted… quitting won’t exactly put me in contact with more people… oh, no, wait a minute… yes it will! Because even if all I do is go to the gym three times a week… that is more people. If I make more time to call friends and see them… that is more people. Even if, and this is true, all I do is see my parents and my brother more often… THAT IS MORE PEOPLE. Cock, bollocks, and shit. Not surprisingly, there goes my fucking eye twitch!

Honestly? This is a shitty thing to say, but I am being open and honest about my feelings… I am excited for the day when I can and willingly watch a Jet Li movie again. I collect(ed) Jet Li Movies… but lately? Hand to God, if I have to watch a movie in Chinese in the next few weeks… I’m just going to be angry and upset. When I leave here… I’ll give it a few weeks and see if I can re-watch Hero or one of my other Chinese Language films without being upset. I sure hope so.

Of course… despite all of this… I’m still nervous/worried as hell about how things will go down tomorrow morning. I will finish my Resignation letter tonight. Print it out early tomorrow morning. Deliver it… we’ll see what happens. REALLY worried. Just because… of course I would be. I mean… when I consider my history, that doesn’t help.
First Job: Dahl’s Grocery Store. Hated it. Quit to spend more time working on the film I was in.
Second Job: Theatrical Shop Cashier (selling theater stuff). Claustrophobic. It was housed in a “Historically Protected Building” so they didn’t need to modify anything by law… so aisles would be 5 inches across and I really wish I were exaggerating. I worked there for three months before I quit because I couldn’t stand being that squashed anymore.
Third Job: Concessions Attendant at Cinema 16. It was okay. But the company was going under so some of our checks arrived “late” a few weeks in a row. Quit to go to school.
Fourth Job: Overland Trading Company Shoe Store. I actually liked this job a lot. And they let me keep it as a “summer” job so that, when I returned to school. Except… this is the job that became “Steve’s Shoes”. The story about handing in notice so I could go back to college and the company treating me like absolute shit? So, yeah. Quit there to return to school.
Fifth Job: Footlocker. I took another shoe job during college, hoping it would be like my earlier experience. It was not. I had a longer commute, I got less school work done, and the boss was an extremely cross lady (at least when it came to men in shoes). She could not get over a prejudice that men became shoe sellers because they were perverts. Made the situation difficult. I quit to focus on my studies.
Sixth Job: Student Union Food Service. I was a Student Assistant to the Chefs at the Dining Hall. Lasted one semester. It was pretty decent work and kind of fun; but when the next semester started, my schedule just would not allow for a 3 hour shift in the middle of the day. Quit for school reasons.
Seventh Job: Telemarketer Selling Batteries. Oh god, how I hated this job! I had just finished college. Nobody would hire me as I was a Religion Major. Only two companies made me offers… a Panchero’s Fast Food Joint, and Telemarketing for Batteries. Telemarketing offered more money. I lasted less than 3 months before I started looking for work. Oh my god, it was painful. Cold calling businesses, asking who provides their batteries, trying to get them to buy from our little distribution facility out of Iowa. ::shudder:: Quit as soon as I got another job.
Eighth Job: Best Buy. I originally started at Best Buy selling TVs. Because TV has always been a big deal for me. It was the tail end of CRT and the transition into Flat Screen. It was an interesting and awesome time to do the work. I did so well with customers, I was transferred to CSR (Customer Service Rep) which meant I was the guy that helped in every department. Then, after a HUGE fight and a threatened law suit, I was transferred to Assistant Supervisor in Media. Then Best Buy started losing heavy to Amazon. So they restructured a few times. I was bumped down to Warehouse Associate. Figured, if I was going to be “demoted” that was as good a time as any to follow through on my plans to go to Law School. Quit to go to Law School
Ninth Job: Douglas County Pretrial Release. The summer after your 1L year, you are supposed to find an internship or a job. While most of my friends found internships… I really wanted something that would be (1) paid; and (2) get me in front of judges and trial lawyers. I found that in Pretrial. For a long time. I worked there for four years! But, they transferred me to Law Library… and I wasn’t using my newly minted Law License. So, I took the first Prosecution Job I was offered.
INTERNSHIP: While working for Pretrial, I did do a summer internship with a Prosecutor’s Office. Not technically a job, but worth throwing in here.
Tenth Job: Pocahontas County Assistant Attorney. Y’all know how that went. Quit when I got the offer for current firm.
Eleventh Job: CURRENT FIRM.

So… I’ve had a job most years since I was 15. 18 years of working and 11 jobs. Of those 11? Quit the first one to focus on MAKING A FILM. Quit 6 jobs to either go to school or focus on school. Quit 3 Jobs to take other jobs. So… out of 11 jobs… the 10 I’ve quit so far were all to GO TO SOMETHING. Movie, School, Job. This is the first time I’ll be leaving a job to go to… nothing? Though, technically, my therapist would say “to go to Health” but… the Conservative Mid-Western Man in me can’t help but think “bullshit.” To go to… working out, sleeping more, taking some time to work on my physical and mental health.... or (translation) being unemployed. That is, I think, a big part of why I’ve been so weird with this decision to leave. I’m choosing an option that I have been trained my whole life to consider as “the worst available option.”