Monday Morning in New Diary

Well I am up at 2 this morning. I am not so sure how I feel right now I think I am in a state of numbness. I am not in the grips of an overwhelming sense of sadness, helplessness like yesterday. I do not really feel anything right now. I am not happy either. Something tells me I will never be happy again. But right now I don’t feel anything except being very tired almost to the point of exhaustion.

I haven’t left my apartment since Friday. other than my aid that came in I haven’t talked to a single living soul. I think yesterday was the worse. I felt very, very depressed and anxious at the same time. It was so bad I couldn’t begin to read. I sat at the computer all morning playing games Then I listened to Celtic Women on You Tube all afternoon. That was a big help with the depression and anxiety.

I haven’t been eating right. I have not been all that hungry and just didn’t have the energy to fix a TV dinner. I have been living on ham and cheese sandwiches. I just couldn’t imagine eating a whole meal

Well that is about it for today