um. kindof a threat. *Depression/SU in 2017. got it.

again still here, 1. [sorry i know i keep mentioning that.].

So......right. when I told Pat’s brother about.that my depression had worsened. i kindof felt like he was threatening me. or i don’t know. ‘trapping’ me, in some way by the way he responded. he was ‘well if you go i’ll follow’. um. ok.......... so i’m trapped into staying? and i feel guilty if i don’t? somethin’s not right here. somethin, doesn’t seem right about this.

He doesn’t get to threaten me or trap me or w/e it was and have me respond right now. which is why i haven’t. also i don’t think i could take that stimulation right now. he wants to help me great. but help me. not him. sorry. I’m the one who came to him so. yeah. he wants to help me? then tell me how he feels about the situation not trap me. i don’t like being trapped. cause. i’m a bird. and. birds fly free. they should anyway.

ya know the reason butterflies fly away my guess? so people won’t hurt them. and this lady........

i know how i felt. even if it’s minimal. and if i feel something’s not right then.........

yeah for. right now i’m probably not going to talk to him. i don’t think. cause no. he doesn’t get to do that and not. expect a reaction from me. and not. have me react in some way. no. i’ve come too far and been through too much shit. no.