The World's Smallest Violin in Book One: The Not So Daily Briefs 2014

  • Feb. 4, 2014, 1:32 p.m.
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I realized that, when it comes to the issues with my wife, I haven't been entirely forth coming about something. There is a way I could try to make things easier. The good ol' social lubricant. There is a secret mathematical precision to it... there is a way of getting my wife drunk enough that she is more willing to be amorous... but that is also really close to the level of drunkenness where she gets downright irritating. Thing is... I refuse to engage in sexual intimacy in that state. So... I suppose I should take the blame/responsibility for that. After so long without physical intimacy... I don't want to *need *to rely on alcohol to make my wife want me. In that way, I'm responsible for some of the issue. Because... I don't want to "take advantage" of my wife when she's drunk... and I want to be wanted without the influence of alcohol.

So- the rest of this article would be entirely worth skipping unless you don't mind whining and/or you are good at giving advice.

I know I've been freaking out about scheduling and everything but.... I want friends! So many of my law school peers hit up the bars together, have movie nights, remain connected and social. And yeah, I have a small group of friends from law school... we play board games about once every other month. Or there is Lotten, who I'll watch Anime with once or twice a month. But... such infrequency and such unsocial activities.... basically, I'm a bit jealous. I see Davey's pictures on Facebook and... I want to be there, I want to be invited. My vice president keeps posting photos of her, Patricia, and Marcus bar hopping... and they look like they are having a blast. I suppose... I'm trying to figure out why I don't get invited. Is it because I wasn't social enough early in law school?

I know it is whining but... I want more in my life than law school --> work --> failing marriage --> working out--> watching TV --> alcohol & porn. How do I... ingratiate myself to people? Especially this late into law school? Or better yet even... how can I (or my wife) make friends once we move?

I've read the articles suggesting the various concepts. Church? Wife won't go and I tend to intimidate people with my academic knowledge of religion. It has been that way since I was in confirmation at 14. Work? That'd be nice, but right now there's no promise I'll even be working with other people. The gym? Right. Nothing says "lets be friends" like pestering someone at the gym. I suppose this is coming out for a few reasons. Being lonely because of my wife is super painful. But not being able to go bar hopping with the other law students, not being invited to their little parties or anything... that sucks, too. And... whatever may happen in the next 9 months... I want to have proactive ways of avoiding loneliness. Some kind of idea on how I might make friends, how I might help my wife make friends, or... if worse comes to worse... how I might make friends that could turn into something more.


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