Dayze in Thirty-Three

I started this last night when I got home so bear with me

I apologize in advance. I’m exhausted, stressed, worried, angry, hurt. I can’t tell one hour from the next anymore you guys. I’m running around like a chicken without it’s goddamn head. What am I supposed to do? I have only shed a few tears here and there, but fuck my life, I want to bawl my brains out.

This sucks. I joined a few clubs the last few months. I joined the I Am Pregnant club. I joined the Miscarriage Club. Yesterday, I joined the My Loved One Suffered A Stroke.

I’m only 33 years old guys. HE is only 31. I can’t comprehend it.

THe last few days have not been pleasant. Shit was said and things happened that should not have and, well I just feel like a pile of shit. I know he does too.

But I also cannot even fathom what is going through his head right now. What was going through his head when I last saw him NOT in a hospital. He told me he Loved me and I said I love You too. So I guess there’s that. 2 and a half hours later, I’m rushing to the hospital.

Goooooodddddd.

Let me backtrack ok. I’m not going into details of Monday night. Just not going to do it. He broke his phone and so, he needs it for work, so I cleared mine out so he could use it. I had a dr appointment with the rheumatologist.

Good news there is that my inflammatory markers HAVE FINALLY STARTED COMING DOWN. Mother fucking yes. That means that finally a chemical I have to inject into my body in order to survive has actually started making a difference. Although he didn’t read his notes properly so he didn’t know about the miscarriage. So that was awkward.

Everything is on the up and up there. Continue as you are.

Uhm, I went to JJs to use the phone to call my Endo to ask for more samples of the med. But I was exhausted from lack of sleep the night before. I decided to just leave the phone with him and go home and get some rest. I had lunch and watched some TV.

At 2:34 I sat at my computer to see a message at 2:29 on FB Messenger from Randy, saying, “I’m at the ER at Northwest”.

I tried calling him 3 times in the next couple of minutes and then I was on my way out the door. I got to the ER and was let back to his room, but when I got there it was empty. Worst fucking nightmare. So I asked the girl sitting there where he was.

She just said that she thought he might be in a test. So I asked what had happened. But all she could say was “let me let the nurse know you are here and she can go over what’s happening with him right now.”

The FUCK?

So I sit in the empty room and try to piece things together. No evidence of anything on the phone. I looked at his clothes. They weren’t bloody, torn, shot. His hat was next to his water jug which had his car keys on top. NO FUCKING CLUES.

I look up a couple of minutes later and see them rolling him back in, he’s hooked up to 2 IV’s, on oxygen with the monitors on his heart and breathing. He’s crying pretty hard. I hear someone on the other side say “He’s just scared”. Ok…but why? Next thing out of her mouth is something that you don’t ever want to hear, “He vomited a lot of blood”.

Double fuck.

So they roll him back in and he sees me and starts almost bawling. I’m trying to get an idea of what is going on and the nurse just kept saying he vomited a lot of blood because the contrast made him sick. So I said “i don’t even know why he’s here, what is going on?!”

So shes like ohhhh shit. The dr. comes in 4.2 seconds later and starts talking stuff. Ok cool they kind of clear out and I ask Randy what was going on. Through his tears he explained that he had been running (JJs style) deliveries. He started feeling lightheaded and then his entire left side, from head to toe, went completely numb. He thought maybe he had pinched a nerve. So he said to himself “i’ll see if it goes away.”

He grabbed 3 deliveries and headed out to take them. 47 minutes later when he returned to the store, he realized it was NOT a pinched nerve and his boss agreed that he needed help so she drove him to the ER.

His symptoms automatically get him into the back and they start checking things out and take him to CT. They find black spots in his brain. hey give him a clot busting medicine that starts to break up the clots. He throws up during the 2nd scan and then that’s where I come in.

We were there for about 3 hours I think. His blood pressure is kind of normalising so that’s a plus. They talk about the pain in his neck and reveal that they found a dissection in the right carotid artery. The inner layer was damaged and may have broken loose, causing a clot somehow. Plus there were several other smaller clots found later.

They told us we were being transferred to TMC because they had this option that they didn’t have there. So we waited maybe an hour for that stuff to happen. They got him in the ambulance and I went and got the phone Cam dropped off for him, let the manager at JJs know what was going on and then went to the hospital.

He was in the ER for a while. Had an MRI done and they confirmed the stroke. There were several minor ones and a bigger one. But they gave him the clot buster early and so that was good.

He got transferred to the ICU around 4am and that’s where he’s been since. They said today he might move to a regular room though so that is great. He did have a minor episode yesterday afternoon where he kind of went weak and lightheaded again so they took him to CT immediately. but that was clear.

He’s just extremely tired and he said himself that he just needs rest. so I’m glad to have heard him say that himself. he’s sleeping now.

Thank you all in advance for your thoughts and prayers. I’ll be posting something on FB (with a GFM link) to update and inform everyone once I get his permission.

I’ll probably stay with him tonight. The hospital has a 24hr visitation policy. So that is awesome. Anyway that is all for now. I’ll update if anything changes.