Whys & Things I Don't Understand in Everything Else

Why…

…do certain YouTubers ask questions of viewers when those viewers are not a live studio audience?

…do those same YouTubers laugh at things only they think are funny? “Okay friends (ha ha ha) it’s a new day (hee hee hee). It’s fucking annoying

…do certain crafty YouTubers tell you it’s okay to do the project the “way” you like or using the “colors” you like, as if you did it a different way, you would be in trouble?

…do YouTubers who have children film when their kids sound as though they are either trying to murder each other and/or set the house on fire?

…do parents find it appropriate to make a facebook status for everything their child says? “Gunner are you tired?” “No, I’m poop.” Seriously the rest of the world does not find that funny or facebook worthy.

…does every conversation turn into a competition between parents? Seriously as a bystander, I see a discussion about the latest episode of Scandal turns into a battle between two moms over whose child is smarter. “Well Molly just started reading Harry Potter.” “Sabrina read the series four years ago in a month.” “Molly’s teacher is doing a Harry Potter themed room this year.” “Our school district believes that themed rooms are distracting and doesn’t encompass all children’s interests.”

Things I Do Not Understand

…the Disney obsession. Seriously some people go to Disneyland/World multiple times a year. Full fledged adults with zero kids even. I went to Disneyland when I was 19. I’m good. I don’t watch Disney movies because I am an adult. I don’t own mouse ears, I don’t know the Disney princesses and I don’t care to.

…the Harry Potter obsession. See above and replace “Disney” with “Potter”

(Planner World Specific)

…the obsession with bows. Fucking bows!

…the obsession with hearts. Seriously multi-colored-foiled hearts & bows everywhere. As though a unicorn barfed on adhesive and someone sold that shit.

…fucking foil. In moderation, it is fine, but when the entire two page spread blinds people the obsession has gone too far.

…why people who put themselves out there via social media get all butt hurt when you criticize one little thing. Nothing mean, like “FFS your thighs are enormous.” But something like “Why do you apologize to people you don’t know for things you do in your own personal planner?” Or my favorite comment to a YouTuber who spent 20 minutes of a 22 minute video complaining on how she hates to pair socks. Then proceeded to set a timer for fifteen minutes (obviously sped up the footage) of her pairing socks (the heap was at least six inches above the rim of the basket (all socks)). Then complain that she didn’t even get halfway through. My comment: “Maybe instead of spending twenty minutes complaining about how you hate to pair socks, you could have used that time to pair socks.” She blocked me. For that.

…deciding you don’t have enough plans to fill your planner so you include other people’s plans and individual rooms/things you are going to clean on a given day. Because I want some rando’s plans in my planner. Yeah, maybe you don’t need to plan.

…work stickers for a non-retail non-shift work job. I work a 9-5 job. I don’t put in a sticker down Monday through Friday that says “Work: 9 to 5” Like I am going to forget what time to go to work on a given day.

…the obsession with making everything perfect. Making sure it lines up perfectly and lifting upon lifting to get it just right. Then saying “it is going to bother me if it is not perfect” and then when they realize they have spent seventeen minutes fucking around with a quarter inch sticker saying, “it’s fine.”

…telling viewers all about what ails them. “I am so sick today.” “Don’t mind me I am sick” “I am so sorry if my voice is weird, I’m sick.” If you are fucking sick, don’t film a video. Jesus it is not like you are an air traffic controller. You are a twenty or thirty something filming a video for YouTube about planner stickers. You are not an integral cog in the functioning of something important.

…and to one particular person…I get you got yourself some fancy new acrylic nails (that, by-the-way are ugly as fuck. Coffin nails and fake “gems” are as tacky as an 88 year old woman in tight ass gold lame and a rainbow tube top with giant hoop earrings and death defying patent leather stilettos gossiping her way through the Florida trailer house retirement village), but drumming them incessantly is enough to make a rational person want to Tim-Roth in Four-Rooms all of your fingers (and if you did not see that movie, he very nonchalantly cut off a dude’s finger with a sharp knife and gave no fucks about doing it.) Try YouTubing that.

Well I feel so much better now. And that is only about a quarter of things I have boiling in my brain.