um. today. and bleeding. TMI. *Con./NI* in 2017. got it.

So today. when i woke up i...........i didn’t feel good. I thought ‘you need heat’. I went to the bathroom. and.........’omygod i’m bleeding’. at first I didn’t recognise why. but then i’m like ‘it’s your period. it’s alrite’. yeah um that was terrifying. and alarming. but a perfectly normal thing. when ladies......yeah. did what needed to be done.

um. got ready. oh when i was sitting in the parlor area. my roommate jennifer i’ve mentioned her before. She’s not loud verbally but she’s loud in.um other ways.........like her um........movements er i mean her walking is loud. and today things felt louder then usual. it’s like the volume was turned up on the world. i was getting irritated w/ her and i’m thinking ‘do you have to be so loud?’. usually it’s not like that. my phonophobia is worse, then.......usual. it’s the sensitivity to noise thing. i felt like i was hungover. [which i’m not btw.]. this whole fukin day i’ve felt like i was hungover.

at wendy’s. wendy’s was ok. i was like this before, ‘the accident’. [yes that’s one of the things i’m calling it now. well which it was.]. but now..........it’s don’t you dare take away my independence. [and by ‘you’ i mean people in general.]. apparently that’s a common thing for people in.my situation.

at the store. omygod the store. i almost had a panic attack and so i had to go and sit down by the pharmacy. where there are. seats. [i hardly think anyone was going to think i was weird for doing that. that’s what people do there they sit. and wait.]. i waited a few mins.

some............time later. I got TMI sick a bit in the bathroom. i won’t detail. evidently that’s pretty normal too. fairly common. i went outside to where it was cold.and quiet. for a bit then came back in. bought something went outside again. got cold so back in i went. um. I waited by the..........entrance for my mentor.

so it snowed today. so i wore my.......um................like they’re fluffy...............medic.........oh my snow boots. [sorry. there’s a pharmacy in London called Boots. medic = pharmacy.]. well when I came into the house the lady told me to stomp my ft. ok. she told me that twice. but my brain literally didn’t know that word so i’m thinking ‘hammer’ and ‘down’. it was frustrating. it’s not her fault this happened. and it’s not mine either.

i’ve been. um..........more. like aware of people and their................ proximity. and i’m so glad people have been patient w/ me even if they don’t know. also. .......... oh i’m also a bit defensive. i feel like some people will look at me weird. I haven’t been outwardly................explosive a whole lot but over the weekend I was a bit at the mall. but i’m feeling [not acting on it but feeling it] ............impulsive as h*ll lately.

so as for my memory. i’m having trouble w/ the words ‘forward’ and um ‘wait’. in my head i’ll tell myself ‘forward’ and that. means nothing to me so ‘towards’. ‘wait’ is another one. yeah um earlier i was.........standing in line at the customer service place. and so i’m ‘red circle’ cause. for.........traffic the ‘red circle’ means ‘stop’. as in..........’wait’.

oh so apparently. and this might have more to do w/ depression then........um.........the accident’. but so. i called the bus people earlier. and i gave the lady the usual info. and i gave her the............address for where i wanted to be picked up. but somehow........um.........she asked if i wanted to go hom*. and i have no memory of her asking me t hat when she did. but we were talking about it and she went ‘well i asked ‘did you want to go..........?’. [w/ depression. sometimes a memory never formed in the first place.]. so then i wondered like. why she was asking me that when i’d previously told her where i wanted to be picked up.at [walgreen’s.].

when i was younger i took a bit of french. [i’ve also taken ballet. oh they use french words in ballet is my point.]. so. when i think ‘turn’ as in........to...........turn, something i think ‘pirouette’. the word ‘coffee’ [as in. starbucks] i don’t have any problem w/. oh and i’ve already mentioned ‘corpse’ [sp?], as in. er. it means ‘body’. so i don’t know. it’s interesting that those words the french ones are easier for me to remember then.......the............english ones.

i’m not having any...........trouble w/ the size of things. i don’t think things are bigger or smaller then they are.