stage fright in poetry

I like to say that I never get “stage fright”
because I’ve always been comfortable on stage
I’ve never been worried about being seeing me
oh sure, I’m afraid that my material is awful
I’m certainly afraid I’ll screw up and forget

but the being-in-front of folk part of it, no
to be honest I am more afraid of talking to
a stranger with the ability to judge my life
than a thousand folks there to really listen
with one stranger there’s a back-and-forth
a give-and-take that can go anywhere in time
an audience can applaud or boo or do nothing
and that’s really about it
I can deal with all those

but maybe it’s not that I don’t get stage fright
maybe it’s just that I am goddamned nervous
most of my waking life and that on the stage
the extra fright makes no appreciable difference
it’s possible that I am just that crazy deep down
I will accept that as an explanation