A Litttle on OD in Days of My Destiny

I was D684459. I had a total of 1165 entries, 537 of those were private, and 10 friends only. (The private ones were originally posted publicly, but I went through and made them private at a later time)

I joined OD in 2006. I was 21, newly married (as in, had married 6 months before), had just started uni and a new job I was enjoying. I was happy, and I don't think I had been this happy for quite some time. Before this time in my life, well, for starters, I was desperate to be married with my man and to live next to him day after day. That didn't mean I was Unhappy, but around all of this wedding planning was a deep unhappiness in other areas of my life. I felt lonely in terms of friendships, I didn't know where I stood with any of my friends and I knew that it was somewhat because I'd gone and started spending all my time with this new guy in my life. I now know it's called Settling Down, lol. I was also unhappy in my job. I was working as a massage therapist, but for commission, and the lady I worked for wasn't very nice. I hadn't had that job for long. Before that I'd been working at a service station for a bit over a year and that job was deeply unsatisfying in the sense that I had a boss who was money money money, and a manager who ... I don't know what the deal was with him. He was in a band at the time and I think his ego got the better of him and he was rude and obnoxious and I had not felt appreciated. So I had high hopes for the massage therapist job, and it just kinda came crashing down in the end.

I decided I would go to uni and pursue the career I'd always wanted. Uni life and lectures and going somewhere to challenge myself and my mind was a whole new way of life for me and very exciting. I loved talking about uni. I loved the vast age range I found there, especially as I could relate to many people.

The last time I wrote in OD properly, was September last year. At the time, OD was really giving me the shits because of how slow it was to load pages. The fact that I have a slow internet connection already really wasn't helping, and so I decided I'd give prosebox a go. It felt weird at first but it grew on me. I loved how simple the layout was and how easily I could get to actually typing my thoughts. Eventually it became 'home' to me, as good as OD always was. I forgot all about OD, really. Finding out about its' closure wasn't a surprise to me, but I am glad that in a way, my journey with OD ended before OD itself did. I've gone back and written one lucky last entry to let people know I am here (though I know I mentioned it some months back). I'm glad that OD shutting down isn't a huge thing I need to process, because in a way I had already let OD go. I do feel for the thousands of people out there to whom OD has meant so much more, especially the ones who have half their life thoughts and struggles and joys and sorrows and changes embedded in the virtual pages.

I am thankful also that we have been warned of its pending shutdown. It just goes to show how humble the DM and others are. It goes to show that indeed, there are people out there who you may never meet, who CARE. And the amazing thing about that is that, this always was the exact point of OD. Amazing friendships have formed because of it. Many people have chosen to meet because of it. I myself haven't met anybody personally, but I do feel especially happy knowing that most of my regular readers have moved on over here recently. I feel like 'my' little community is back, like 'my people' are here now. That I can write and they will truly understand, because they were there, over on OD, reading about my own changes and struggles and sorrows and joys. And for that, I really am thankful.

I thought I might delete my diary on there, just so that I am the one who well and truly finishes my journey with OD before it shuts down..... but I find that I am unable to. The option is there, at the click of a button, but somehow, I want my journey with OD to end when OD is ready. I want to give it that. I want all my old entries (which I have downloaded - I'd already done that a while ago, but had not downloaded 2013) to die with OD. I mean, I was always colour of water. I never once changed my name. I tried having a separate diary once for old paper diary entries, but that never went anywhere and I soon forgot all about it. The main one that told the world who I am in this existence, was colour of water. I always had 'soultemple' as my diary title, and as my own soultemple evolved, so did the pages of my online diary. I changed the colours here and there, to reflect how I felt about who I was in different stages of my life.

So I picture the end of OD a bit like one of the scenes off Titanic, where Jack is holding on to the raft that the lady is on (can't remember her name), and Jack is dying but doing his best to comfort the lady (is it Rose?). Jack dies, Rose lives, and it was a wonderful journey they had together, and Rose goes on to always cherish those memories.

It's a little tiny weeny bit like that.

[By the way, if anyone knows if worldlywisdoms and miss bliss are here, please let me know. They are the only two from 'my' little community that are missing now. Thank you.]