pills. and rape. and the milk night. OD. in 2017. got it.

so on the night of.’the milk night’ the night I OD’d. i must’ve......i must’ve had a cup of wine before I OD’d. and then...........um. had the marigold seeds then the pills. i remember downing the pills. but i don’t remember......vividly drinking the second cup of wine.......
and that night. well that night i don’t remember a whole lot of. but the night [er well morning] of the rape.that i remember. only. the night I OD’d. i was the one who mixed pills and alcohol pills and.wine. and i wonder if.........that was why bc it was my decision. it’s not like oh someone else put something in my drink and i had no idea. but see.........i didn’t even put the pills into the drink on the milk........yeah.
would that amount of wine have been enough to chase that many pills w/? i’m not sure........cause i don’t like swallowing pills dry.