Owwwwwwwwwie owie owie in Adventures in paradise

Hol-lee hell, I haven’t felt this much pain in a long time! Right now, I’m really feeling for those poor people who have constant back issues most days of their lives. I’m not used to feeling this much searing pain shooting through me no matter what I try to do. Getting out of/into bed, even moving slightly, walking to the bathroom, putting socks on… you name it, it’s painful as fuck.

I rang up sick this morning to work as there was simply no way it was going to happen. My store manager wasn’t in yet so I asked the Invoice lady to pass a message on. The store manager must have arrived shortly after because he sent me a text saying he’d come and pick me up and take me to the doctor’s above my work. Last time I tried to go there on a weekend, they were closed, but apparently they must open on weekends now. I was always so confused because they had a huge-ass sign saying ‘7-day doctor’ but they were only ever open for 5.

Anyway, I thanked him and he booked me in for an appointment at 9:40am this morning. It was still only 8am so I had some time to get some food into me. Even pouring a cup of tea and spreading my honey onto my toast, I was in agony. Fuck this!

One of my facebook friends must have done some physio work and was messaging me offering me some tips. He was telling me to lay on the floor on something soft and put my legs up at a 90-degree angle.
I could barely fill my tea-cup, let alone get down on the fucking floor, but I somehow managed to do so. Gravity helped.
I was scared of trying to get back up again! But I was willing to do anything to get this pain to fuck off. I’d already taken the last of my Panadol Rapid, which seemed to be doing sweet-fuck-all.
Surprisingly, the position helped. Originally, I started off in my bedroom with my feet up on the bed (I’m tall enough to do so) but then moved out to the lounge where there’s more room. I must have lay there for about 25 minutes. Before I knew it, it was 9am and I knew I was going to be slow getting ready before my manager arrived, so I used my arms to push myself back up, winced through the pain and made it to my bedroom to put my socks and shoes on.
Sooooooooo painful. Searing pain right through the lower back. I was even stamping my feet to get them into the shoe so that I wouldn’t need to bend down again. Ergh. Horrible.

Matt picked me up right on time. Here was the most painful part of all - trying to squeeze my 6 foot 3 frame into his low sports car. I thought I was gonna pass out. The worst was trying to lower my head under the roof to get in, and I had to use my hands to lift one leg at a time. Fuck, me.
Then again, getting out of the car. My manager felt so sorry for me with how much pain I was in.
We got to the doc and he gave me some forms which I had to give to the doctor, basically stating what jobs I could and couldn’t do. I didn’t have to wait long for the doc to see me, and I hobbled on into his office.
I was like, “I think it’s pretty obvious why I’m here.”
He poked around a bit and asked if the upper or middle back hurt, which they didn’t. He poked my lower back and I nearly had a reflex to punch him through his nice office-view window :P
Yup, that’s the source of the pain alright!
I showed him the forms my manager wanted him to fill out and he just dismissed him. He was like, ‘Well that’s a waste of time. You’re not doing any work at all.” He asked what days I worked and I said, “Thursday to Sunday” and then he said, “Come back on Wednesday and we’ll reassess you then, and then we can fill those forms out, depending on how you’re going.”

As I suspected, it’s something I just have to wait out and wait for to fuck off. My manager was clearly covering his arse because this happened to me at work, but he was very nice to me by picking me up and taking me to the doctor, all expenses paid to the store. I even got a sandwhich for free from work and a drink to have whilst I took some of the prescription painkillers the doc wrote out for me (paid for as well). The pharmacist told me that one of the prescriptions was for Panadeine Extra, but they’ve stopped producing that! So I had to get the prescription with a 5mg lesser dosage :(
I then had to go into work and fill out a fuck-load of paper work both for work documentation of the incident, and for WorkCover, should I need it. The doctor had written on the medical certificate that I am unable to work until January 17th, which seemed like a generous amount of time. I’m really hoping it’ll go away by then. I’m not the sort of person who would rout something like WorkCover unless I really needed it. My manager said that I should fill out the paperwork just in case (which I did), but we are both hoping I will be okay to work by next week. He said he’ll submit it on Wednesday if needs be.
But Jesus, I could hardly fucking even walk today. If I’m like this in 5 days time, I just may well be claiming work-cover for the first time in my life. Whatever I did, I did it good.
After all the paperwork was signed and read and such, my manager also bought me some Dencorub Heat Patches which we sell at my work. The painkillers I’d taken still hadn’t kicked in, so I was hobbling around. A few workmates saw me and told me I work too hard lol. I’d rather them not have seen me at all. I was not a pretty sight.

The doctor said that if I have problems with my bowel or get tingling in my legs, to come back straight away, as that is something different, but right now, I’m booked in again on Wednesday, where I’ll get another diagnosis, get that other form filled out (probably light duties would be fine, so long as I can fucking walk at least!) and probably a new medical certificate with maybe an earlier date on it. That would make things easier for work to not have to claim WorkCover, as it’s probably a hassle for them, but it’s all going to depend on whether my back will be a bitch or not by then. C’mon back, you have five days to prove yourself! I don’t do all that damn rowing for nothing.
I’m being paid for today and tomorrow, which is nice. If I need more time off, it’ll come out of my personal leave, but if the WorkCover claim goes through, I’ll get that personal leave reimbursed to me, which will be nice. I’ve never had to use it before, so it was all new to me.

I’m typing right now, only in a little bit of pain. That heat patch is a fucking miracle. I must be losing it lately though, because last night I drew myself a hot bath (I figured the hot water would help my back pain) and I thought something was wrong with the hot-water. No matter how may times I turned the tap to the hot side, it would be cold each time. Turns out I was just turning it to the wrong side. I’ve only been using that bathtub for like 6 or so years now LOL.
And then today when I put the patch on, I didn’t realize there was protective covering still on it until I was wearing it for a while. Now I’ve figured it out.

I’m losing my body and my mind in my mid 30’s! And now my back is killing me again, ergh.