New Month New Year in New Diary

Well this is a new month and a new year. We have been experiencing bitter cold temperatures the last few days. This is the third and I have to go out in this weather. Case manager is taking me to the bank, Gumby’s and Wal Mart. I do not need to go but I need to get money for rent, cigars and much needed groceries. Then I have a doctor’s appointment later on in the afternoon. I am dreading going out in this cold weather.

I did not stay up New Years Eve;. I never do. We had a nice New Years day dinner. Chocolatechip cooked homemade meal of steak and veggies. It was pretty good. Then earlier that day my caregiver came to work. Chocolatechip came up while she was here and we all sat and talked over coffee. I had a good time then. I am glad we are all getting a long now.

I have been doing a lot of reading and enjoying my new Nook. I finished a biography of Ulysses Grant by Ron Chernow. I learned a lot about the 18th president. He was a brilliant general during the Civil War and a much better president than I thought. During his presidency he really tried to push for equal rights for newly freed slaves and protect their voting rights. He had a drinking problem but was able to overcome it through the help of friends and his family.

I started reading a new book. This one is called Dereliction of Duty: Johnson, McNamara, the Joint Chiefs of Staff. by H.R. McMaster it is about how we got involved in the Vietnam War and why we lost it. The author claims that we did not lose the war on the battlefield but in Washington DC. Our leaders made really bad decisions that got us involved in an unwinnable conflict in Southeast Asia. I started it yesterday and read the first two chapters. it was very interesting.

Well I get my social security check today. I already paid my Comcast bill of $153.51 I also paid on my credit card. I made a $398 payment. My balance is down to $189.39 I really went overboard last month. I charged that nook which was $128.39 I also bought Chocolatechip a couple Christmas presents a toaster and a blood pressure monitor. Normally I only charge on my credit card what I can pay off. This way I start out the month with a zero balance with no interest fees. This time I will have to make payments on the unpaid balance. Depending on interest and finance charges I think I can have that paid off my March.

On the one hand I am really enjoying the Nook. Reading is my major pastime. I don’t drive and can’t walk too good. It is impossible for me to get to the bookstore or library. Having a Nook is like having your own personal bookstore . Also getting Chocolatechip those Christmas presents made my Christmas. But I have to pay them off and the thought of having a credit card balance caused a lot of paranoia and anxiety. I kept thinking that that if Healthways found out I have a credit card balance they would have me declared incompetent make me get a payee or have me put in a group home because I can’t handle my finances.

So I have been pretty anxious. I am on anxiety meds as needed. I’ve been taking one every morning as prescribed. This has helped with the anxiety. I also keep telling myself that I am not incompetent. I always have money for the necessities. I am never without food, money or money for meds. I always make sure I pay my rent on time. I think I am doing good. I just overcharged one month but I can get that paid off by March. Yes I am doing good.

Well it is seven got to get ready for my outing