The Lines Between in Book One: The Not So Daily Briefs 2014

Really, this could have gone in my "Romance Based" book but... frankly, I figured why not put it in here. It flows well with everything else. Or maybe it doesn't. But either way- in here it all goes.

Last night, I had a stroke of genius. That may be going a bit far, but I am surprised I hadn't thought of this before. I asked my wife a hypothetical with the intent of discovering for myself (and illustrating for her) that hopes of a move to another state cannot be our marriages best chance of survival. I asked: If I were to throw you a gigantic birthday party and wanted to invite all of your friends, no matter where they were... would you invite anyone from your hometown? Or my hometown? Or the old state at all?" Her answer was no. She's made a lot of friends here and likes them very much; she's made more friends here than she did in other locations. But is still adamant that she wishes to move back to the Home State and that such a move will make things better. For a scientifically minded girl, when she wants to be stubborn and illogical... she can stick to it with dedication.

Another funny thing last night... she made mention of how I don't wear my wedding ring anymore. I haven't worn it in a few months... what would be the point really? After two years of living in the same place but not acting like newlyweds (or a married couple at all)... what is the point? But for some reason it is now starting to bug her and she put it on me last night. I actually took it off immediately afterwards again. She has also started to get... suspicious? That may not be the right word but... she is looking into some of my social stuff more frequently than before and I get the feeling that she is worried that I am cheating. The loving husband part of me wants to comfort her and tell her that I am not... but the other part of me thinks, "Good. Maybe if she thinks there is some competition, she'll actually give a damn." Thinking that, while in some ways is arguably justified, still makes me think I'm being childish.

This is going to be another of those insanely busy weeks again. Today alone is a 6am to midnight day. My legal organization begins recruitment this week, so I'm hopping from one thing to another for that. One my classes begins its "interview sessions" so (in an already packed schedule) I have three hours eaten up by that. My ADR class wants a report on Participative Budgeting by February 27th. My advanced writing class has another paper due this Wednesday and I'm expected to have a topic approved for my Final Project (yes, already). Arbitration keeps piling on the pages... and I keep falling behind. Even the bar preparation class has given out an assignment... a full Bar-style essay on case facts from the official This is Your Bar handbook. So I've got to fit all that in, with recruitment, and working at the Jail Courtroom. And... I pray to God I can stick to this.... I keep telling myself THIS is the week I need to finish the Bar Application. THIS is the week I need to get the ball rolling downhill on that because... well, frankly, I need to take the Bar this July. Yeah, my marriage might evaporate before then... I have the distinct feeling it will evaporate after... but this has been what we've both been working towards.

I do have to say though... if my wife doesn't begin to include a bit of passion in our lives, if my wife continues to reject me over and over, and if my wife continues to refuse counseling for herself or our marriage.... November 7th of this year, I may have to make one very difficult decision.