"ABOUT FALLING (AND STAYING) IN LOVE" in "MY ROOM OF THOUGHTS"

What’s ‘falling in love’? Quite a tricky question, eh? When we were teens, we’d probably have only thought of it as something ‘skin-deep’. (Come on, just admit it. Believe me, because I’ve been there too.)

Having a major crush on that cute celebrity? Feeling your heart beat faster at the sight of that gorgeous guy/girl next door or in the next classroom? We’d easily identified that as “falling in love”. Then, we started daydreaming about the idea of being with them.

What if that didn’t come true? Perhaps this sounds a bit exaggerating, but we might have felt like the sky had fallen down on us. We were so sad. It may have gotten so bad that when they decided to be with somebody else, we’d constantly scrutinise that particular person. In our eyes, he or she was never good enough.

Usually, that feeling lasted until boredom caught up with us or when we finally found someone much cooler than they were.

What if that had come true? Wow, perhaps we’d be thrilled at first. That dream of ours had come true!

The Reality of ‘Love’

However, reality could turn us down. That particular person we’d deemed perfect turned out to have flaws as well. (They’re still human too, duh.) Even their taste in music and how they ate could turn us off. Don’t forget more about each other’s principles, from ideology to political views. Hmm, it’s getting tougher here.

Once you reach this point, what do you do? Perhaps some choose to “blind themselves” in the name of “LOVE”. It doesn’t matter that friends and family have been objecting, saying that they’re ‘no good’ for us. Some choose to ‘tolerate’ and ‘compromise’. For example: accepting the fact that they always show up late or they are very forgetful.

Until when? As long as we can stand them. The acute perfectionists (especially those fretting about even a single, tiny spot) would probably give up and leave.

Between Falling and (Staying) in Love

Come to think of it, falling in love can actually be pretty easy. Sometimes it’s not about choices, but it just happens.

Falling in love is beautiful, so no wonder it’s always been an all-time theme. This is why romantic novels, songs, and movies are often sold out – especially those with happy endings. Unfortunately, we often forget about its ‘other side’, which means to preserve love so it doesn’t fall to pieces. Seriously.

Keeping/preserving love shouldn’t be just a one-person job. How could it last if only one of them were asked to obey/submit (in fact, often under the threat of some, freely-interpreted religious teachings), while the other person did whatever they pleased? This is like you’re expecting your partner to be as perfect as someone made in heaven while you turn home into hell.

Staying in Love Is Not Easy

The effort to stay in love with each other is not easy.

The most expensive diamond should be dug first, rubbed many times before it shines beautifully. That is the same case with two people in a relationship. If both still believe in one vision and are still willing to accept each other’s shortcomings / flaws, may both continue to grow and evolve in the relationship. All good things never come out instantly.

We’ve all been in love, perhaps some more than the others. Will we always be mature and patient enough to keep (and grow) the same love – or to let that love go when it’s no longer good to both body and soul?

Don’t ask me. Good luck in experiencing love. Keep interacting with it. May the good love be always there and for the rest of your lives…

R.

(Roughly translated from: https://www.pikiranrandom.com/tentang-jatuh-cinta-dan-tetap-mencinta/ )