2017 Survey (Long Ass Survey, Long Ass Year) in Book Four: Ichi-no-Tani 2017

Perhaps best summarized by the two following image:

What was your biggest life lesson this year and what did you learn?
I continue to learn a great deal about myself. I learned a great deal more about the law and have, I believe, truly discovered if/where I belong in that regard. I can be a good attorney. I can win cases, be ethical, be passionate. But I want to do so for a Firm/Company that treats me as a person and/or with some respect. I want to do so in an environment that celebrates accomplishment and fosters learning.

What did you accomplish this year that you are most proud of?
Sad as it is, I would have to say leaving Tiny Town. We didn’t jump into an extremely better situation in many ways; but I know for certain that my Wife and I would never have thrived in Tiny Town. We aren’t doing well here, but we’re doing better.

What is your biggest disappointment or regret this year?
Strangely, I cannot consider accepting this job as a regret. I needed to accept this job. I hate being here and, as you well know, I hope that I get the (ever increasingly unlikely) call from ACA. But I needed to do this to (1) get my family back to a more livable location; and (2) discover if I could/would enjoy working Private Practice. So… what is my biggest disappointment or regret then? Not finding a way to maximize what little time is actually mine to do with as I please.

Which significant relationship improved the most?
I would say the relationship with my parents and my friends. By being closer to them and continuing relationships, it has truly helped.

Which significant relationship did you neglect the most?
My out of state friends. I haven’t seen people I love dearly, I haven’t even talked to them, in a long time. I realize in the Communications Age I have no excuse. But… yeah. I feel shitty about it but not shitty enough to considerably change my behavior.

How did you grow emotionally this year?
I think I grew a lot emotionally. When I started this lawyer thing last year, I had no emotional basis for what to expect, what it would mean, how it would change things. After Tiny Town and now this place? I think I know what I need, honestly and sincerely, for emotional stability and happiness. That is an important thing. Now, whether I have an opportunity for it is an entirely different matter.

What do you wish you had done more of this past year?
I wish I had been able to spend more time with Wife in a social, friendly environment. Our lives have become so work, sleep, home work, work, sleep… we really need to do more in a social, romantic setting.

What do you wish you had done less of this past year?
Struggled to fit into a work environment where I’m simply too diametrically opposed.

What was the smartest decision you made this year?
Not accepting non-lawyer jobs just because I was unhappy at Firm. I can be an attorney. I can make my education pay off. But like acting… the role matters. You may have to play Policeman No. 5 for years when you know you would best be suited to play Leading Role Father Man. But you just keep doing what you can and when you audition for Leading Role Father Man… you just hope that you get it.

What are you most grateful for this past year?
Prosebox Friends, 5150 Friends, financial safety provided by family.

How did you manage your stress levels this year?
Weakly. Things are bad but via Prosebox Writing and bitching to friends, at least I haven’t been bottling it up or drinking it all away.

What was your best financial decision this year?
Staying in Apartment Style Housing. The apartment may suck, and we both miss living in a house but.... our income is not to a place where we can buy a house right now.

What was your worst financial decision this year?
Not investing. We really need to consider investing.

What is one miracle you experienced this year?
San Francisco seems appropriate to place here. Another reason why my bosses can suck a NoKo dick for getting their panties twisted about that trip. Seeing my cousin married off, finding a moment of peace on the boat, seeing my niece turn 4… all very good.

What was the greatest, kindest service you performed this year?
Tragically, I would consider it my job. Considering my limited pay, the amount of time and energy I put in to getting people their children back, not going to jail, being able to stay in this country… yeah.

What unfinished business do you have from this year?
TONS. I need to lose 80 lbs. I need to update and preserve my wardrobe. I need to get an ACA job in an appropriate county. I need to help my wife find herself.

What held you back this past year?
I believe what held me back most this year was my desire to prove myself in this firm. At first, I took the Firm’s attitude as a “Prove it, newbie” kind of approach. So, I tried over and over to demonstrate that I wasn’t who they originally painted me to be. I am a hard worker who cares about his job. But… I misjudged the situation. The attitude wasn’t “Prove it, newbie.” The attitude was just… how this place is.

How did you spend your weekends this past year?
I played DragonLance with 5150, I played video games, and far too often I was spent my weekends doing Work Marketing Events all over Iowa.

What do you want to stop doing in 2017?
I want to stop working for the Chinese, lol.

If you had to describe your 2016 in 3 words, what would they be?
Controlling.
Informational.
Confining.

Which of your personal qualities turned out to be the most helpful this year?
Reading a room. Being able to speak to Judges, stranger attorneys, and the like aided me when my bosses could not/would not.

What was your biggest break-through moment career-wise?
I was hired by a private firm and I realized I don’t want to work for a private firm… at least not one like this.
(Funny aside: my response to this question last year reminded me that the two lawyer jobs I’ve ever been hired for were when my competition for the job was either JUST ME or Me and 1 Other Person. Another reason to fret about the ACA gig and another reason to really want it. I need that confidence boost that says ‘You are qualified against other individuals’ not something that just says ‘You’ll do when nobody else wants to’.)

What little things did you most enjoy during your day-to-day life?
Coming Home. There is nothing like a shitty job to make returning home seem awesome. Which… Wife almost understands. Her problem is that she can’t just leave the shitty job at work. The foul mood follows her home.

What was your most common mental state this year (e.g. excited, curious, stressed)?
Depressed, anxious.

Was there anything you did for the very first time in your life this year?
Private Attorney Work, lol. I put on and won my first jury trial.

What experience would you love to do all over again?
Knowing what I know now? I’d say leaving Tiny Town. Strangely! Like… if I could have worked with Ran to (1) get specific experience in order to help me (2) get the Davenport, Pot County, or ACA job… that would have been good.

What purchase turned out to be the best decision ever?
Similar to last year, there were no big purchases or anything grand so… I’d have to say best decision was financial frugality?

What do you deserve a pat on the back for?
Putting up with this firm like a trooper

What did you think about more than anything else?
What is it that I truly want in life

What advice would you give your early-2016 self if you could?
It would never work because early 2017 me would think I was full of shit. But I’d say, “Stay here. Struggle it out for a few more months. Honestly. You can do this for 4 to 5 more months with no problems. Work with Ran. Have him help you become marketable to other ACA offices.”

Did any parts of yourself or your life do a complete 180 this year?
No, I actually became more invested in who I am. Though, I am fighting the 180 rise of “love Asian culture” to now thinking Chinese people suck

Did you keep your New Year;s resolutions and will you make more for next year?
Probably not. I don’t even think I did a good job of remembering them this year

Did anyone close to you give birth?
No, but some more of my friends got pregnant

Did anyone close to you die?
Actually, no. NO deaths this year.

What countries did you visit?
Did not leave the country

What would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017?
A house, a yard, a job where I’m making enough for the household… fuck, a job where I’m making more than Wife at Wal Mart would be a positive fucking change

What dates from 2017 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Specific dates don’t stay with me as well anymore and not many dates worth remembering this last year

Did you suffer illness or injury?
I got diagnosed with Glaucoma this year

What song(s) will always remind you of 2017?
It’s the End of the World as We Know It

Compared to this time last year (2016), are you:
i. Happier or sadder? Happier. Last year, I had no prospects. At least this year, I can still hope for the ACA job
ii. Thinner or fatter? Fatter. In Tiny Town, I walked to work occasionally. Here, all the extra driving and beck-and-call work have added the pounds
iii. Richer or poorer? Poorer. Tiny Town sucked but the cost of living was super low (since most people made less than $30k) and I got paid $60k. Now? I’m in a place where the cost of living is high and I get paid $30k.

How did you spend Christmas?
In my parents’ house with parents, wife, brother, Sister in Law, and Niece.

What did you get for Christmas this year?
Books, video games, board games.

What was the most embarrassing thing that happened to you in 2017?
Bachelor Party Brambles

Did you fall in love in 2017?
Actually, a few times this year I did fall more in love with my wife

How many one night stands?
I’ve not had sex with anyone other than my wife.

What was your favourite TV programme?
Rick and Morty

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2017?
Professional Apathy. I was once a well dressed dapper young man; but now I just wear the same suits over and over and they’re fitting worse and worse

What kept you sane?
Prosebox. Facebook (in its way). Parents. Friends.

Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Oh yes. My hatreds have grown immensely.

What was the best book you read in 2017?
Dark Matter

What was your greatest musical discovery?
Caravan Palace

What were your favourite films of this year?
Didn’t see too many films this year, honestly.

What did you do on your birthday and how old were you?
I turned 33. I worked and have no idea what we did. I think we did nothing.

What three things would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A better job.

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
None.

Who did you miss?
Me, who I can be and used to be

Which PBers did you meet for the first time?
Haven’t done that yet. Not sure when I will; but I can say for certain that there are a few I would love to meet up with and hang out.

What is a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017?
Value yourself