Battle PT Night in Days of My Destiny

I went along to the Battle PT last night. It's a great place for a physical challenge. There were push-ups, crunches, lots of running, teamwork.... it really is for me.

The only thing is, it plays up on my parenting style big time. M gets home from school and it's all rush rush rush to get her out of her uniform and into comfy clothes on time and to leave on time to get there on time. There's no proper time spent with her or with my youngest and there's a lot of telling off because they don't listen, which means we inevitably run late or rush out the door anyway, no matter how much I organize beforehand in order to avoid that. Then all the way there, M got told off more because she was just being a downright grump, outright ignoring her sister and stuff. At one point I asked her WHY she was being so grumpy and rude, and she said she was just tired. I told her that this doesn't give her the right to be rude. And then we got there.

They have a load of fun with the other kids there in the babysitting section, I can tell they love it. But it means that when we get home at around 8pm, they are both over-stimulated and hypo and not ready for bed and back chatting and just generally carrying on. Which means they get told off some more right before bedtime. So last night by the time I said my final goodnight and I love you... M didn't say it back. It's rare for her not to say it back and I know it means she's hurt. I apologised for the stupid afternoon we had and said we'd have a better day tomorrow - but you know what, that sounds - and feels - cheap.

I don't like it.

I need to work on this so that it doesn't happen. I need to perhaps EXPECT them not to get ready as quickly as I have been wanting them to and just work with it. I need to make sure I get my money out (it costs $15 per class, plus $10 for child minding) a few days in advance, or the day before or something - this will mean I don't have to get the money out ON THE WAY THERE, which means we don't have to leave home for another 15 minutes or so. Just little things like this. I also need to work on the way I get grumpy when I'm tired. I do try to be patient and calm but it doesn't last long, and then I explain to them my reasons for being grumpy - that I'm tired. Well that's clearly not a good example, is it, because M is following suit, thinking it's okay to be grumpy to everybody just because she's tired.

And of course, mostly, I need to work on my patience and the way that I speak.

At the moment, I feel like the only way to 'make it up to them' is by letting them sleep in on Wednesday morning, even if it means we miss the bus and I have to drive M all the way to school. And this afternoon, I will pick her up and take my girls to a park or something. We'll do something nice. But below this layer, I need to make logistical changes so that Tuesdays are happier for everybody.