Keep the Billows Smooth and Bright in Book Four: Ichi-no-Tani 2017

Good morning, Good Afternoon, Good Evening, welcome welcome welcome.

“The time has come,” the Walrus said, “to speak of many things. Of shoes and ships and sealing wax. Of cabbages and kings. And why the sea is boiling hot and whether pigs have wings.” “But wait a bit,” the oysters cried, “before we have our chat. For some of us are out of breath and all of us are fat!” “No hurry,” said the Carpenter. They thanked him much for that.

I spent the weekend mostly sleeping. As my pain is getting wonky and the weather acting strange; I felt it best to rest. However, I did enjoy spending time with friends on Saturday. And I spent time with my family on Sunday. That was a… contradictory thing indeed.

First, I was greeted by my mother and father as Niece was napping and her parents out. My father is over the moon about my interview in Eastern Iowa. Honestly said he wanted to come with me just to visit the old stomping grounds a bit. My mother is a little sad that we may be leaving the local area but was excited that I could be working for a place that had actual policies and plans surrounding things like “Employee Vacation Pay” and the like.

Then, when my Brother and Sister-in-Law returned things got a touch more complicated. My brother is happy that I am working towards getting a job that is more… structured… as opposed to being able to demand long unpaid weekends. My sister-in-law, on the other hand, was far more critical of the situation. Quick and passionate to inform me that no matter where I go, there I am. No matter where I work, I’ll face the same problems and consequences and issues and that leaving my current firm wasn’t going to do a single thing to change if I was happy or satisfied with work. It… kind of bothered me. Because in some ways, she is spot on. In some ways, I anticipate I will always have certain issues with bosses and colleagues and work. But I was also bothered because… our jobs are very different in nature. She works in an Animal Research Lab. I am an attorney. The fact that every job she takes comes with overbearing male bosses and productivity based hours… that isn’t my world. And I’ve been a Prosecutor before, it isn’t like I’m going into this blind. Yeah, if my boss says “No doctor’s appointments on company time” that may genuinely happen. I accept that such a statement might be made. But (1) I’m not hourly as a Prosecutor. If I get the work done and slip out at 4 to see a medic, that is normal. (2) I wouldn’t be the only associate/assistant. If I need my eyes checked for glaucoma, there will be a secretary and fellow attorney that I can ask to cover something if I absolutely need to. (3) In Prosecutor work, my taking time off to see a Doctor isn’t directly translated to my bosses’ rate of pay. So, even if the Boss wants to make my life harder, they aren’t coming at me with a “Your doctor visits cost me money!” mentality.

Then Wife showed up. That was good because Wife can so rarely join us for Family things because of work. And wife said that she now regrets suggesting I apply for the job because she is certain I’ll get it. So that complicates things for me emotionally a little. Wife regrets encouraging me to go for this… that is… certainly something.

Meanwhile… I can tell that my bosses have specifically and expressly been holding back. Like… there is this tangible tension in the air because they have decided to take a “Maybe not being assholes is a better way to lead” approach. For instance, Chinese Boss looked over my time sheet and pointed out areas where I should have charged more… and then changed my time sheet to get me more money. And when I did something she didn’t like, she didn’t go crazy. She just said, “I’d like you to do this.” So that is a nice change.

So all of that is playing out. BUT my current perspective?

I have a scheduled interview at 9 a.m. I have a scheduled interview at 4 p.m. I will go to those. I will give it my best. I will return to my job.

IF I get a call from them? Then I’ll have to deal with what options are available to me. IF I don’t get a call from them? I’ll have to deal with what options are available to me. UNTIL that happens… I’m just a guy, looking to see what is out there, wondering if I can do better. That’s all.