Mixed Bag in 2017
- Nov. 20, 2017, 9:59 p.m.
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- Public
I’ve opened this browser far too many times without writing anything. Lots on my mind with not much to say for it. I’ve been busy around the house. Most recently, I painted a section of our rec room wall blue and put world map decals over it. I really need to fully paint the rest of the walls down here. Its untreated drywall that is so dirty from almost 6 years of living. So I’ll figure out what color to use in our no-natural-light rec room and after the rest of that wall is painted, I’ll use wall trim to make a ‘frame’ around the map. It was a fun little project.
Holiday season is officially upon us. Generally, I love this time of year. Warm sweaters, coffee and hot cocoa, lights, decorations, laughter, family. Thanksgiving, my birthday 12/2, Christmas and Fiona’s birthday. New years. Ivy’s birthday 1/22. Logically I know that her birthday is a separate entity from the holidays....but emotionally it feels all connected. Last year’s holidays were dusted with the joy of a coming baby. Last Christmas Eve, in the car on the way to my moms, my daughter told me she wanted a kitten instead of a sister. I never ever make resolutions, but last year I resolved to have a baby this year.
We don’t have a little sister here with us. And we have 3 grief cats.
I did birth a baby, but I had to bury her, too.
This is the cloud tangling my cheer.
But, I finally retired my 15 year old charlie brown tree and ordered a proper tree, with new ornaments. And I have a family ornament including Ivy, even if just for this year. I had a memorial ornament made for her, as well.
So, heres to decorating and fa la la la la.
Oceanne ⋅ November 21, 2017
We have 3 tree ornaments in honour of Olivia. Surprisingly enough one came from my in laws. The holidays are so hard now.. I still love Christmas + mine and Chris' birthdays are in December too, but last year was just heart breaking. All those visions of celebrating Christmas with a little squish just.. gone. I also used to love Thanksgiving, but that weekend is the last weekend I saw our daughter... kinda has a big dark cloud lurking over head like you said. Life is just so weird now. Totally separated into "before Olivia" and "after Olivia".