"YOU WILL KNOW WHEN I LOVE YOU" in "RESTLESS: POETICALLY-SPEAKING"

You will know that I love you
even when I don’t say it
not even out loud
or even when I’m still way too proud
That fact, I have to admit
I still own it

How?
It’s tricky
Sorry, I’m not making this easy
I promise you, though
it won’t be too cliche or tacky

You will know that I love you
and it’s not from how I compliment your looks
Vanity’s not in my books
You never have to look like a supermodel
as long as we can work out our troubles

You’ll be surprised
when I let you win a spar
even when I know I’m right
or don’t feel like putting up a fight
or perhaps just accept that you are
Which one is it?
Take your best bet

You will know that I love you
when I ditch my favourite rock concert
or reschedule my hangout time with friends
just because I find out
that you’ve been hurt
I will surely feel worse

You will know that I love you
when to me, your opinion matters (or starts to)
Still, I make my own choices
but you’ll see that I’m staying
as long as you don’t treat me
like a mere puppet on a string

I’m not the all-too-clingy
I hope you have the patience with me
I don’t want to be some damsel-in-distress
but I still appreciate the help
before I crash
Believe me, I’m still learning how to ask

You will know that I love you
when you apologise for your fluffy hair
but I don’t care
I pay more attention to the redness in your eyes
and I wonder if you too realise

I may appear tough on the outside
because I’m just not the prissy type
I’m willing to take almost anything in the world
but tears in your eyes are probably some of the worst
than all the pain I’ve ever suffered

Last but not least,
you will know that I love you
when I won’t waste time fretting about how you were
but how you are right now even more
and hopefully, you will become someone better
sometime in the future

You will know,
but how far are you willing to go
to that day – when I will start loving you so?

After all I’ve written above
I hope it’s enough
but sorry, I have to break this news:
I’m still not changing my ‘everything’ for you
because I still love myself too
I only do it when I want to…

Haha!

So, care to find out
what I’m really all about?
For starters,
we need to find a place
where we can meet face to face.

Then we’ll begin from there.
So, what do you say?

(Jakarta, 17-18 November 2017)