the rock-a-fire implosion in poetry

the Chuck E Cheese nowadays
looks like an iPad through up all over the inside of it
all flashing flat screen teevees and
ticket-dispensing machines and I mean, times change, I get it
pinball machines and arcade high scores have gone the way off horse-and-buggy
nearly every machine being a ticket spitter, now
there is no joy for these kids in beating the game
or beating their own high score it’s all about
getting enough tickets to get some physical thing and
that is the way of things now, that’s just how it is
it’s basically just a children’s casino
it’s not my thing but that’s how the wind’s blowing
ain’t no one under thirty gonna know for Galaga
let alone what “IT’S SHOWTIME” means in Addams Family Pinball and
it’s all wide open spaces now and shiny lights and windows
an open layout across the games and tables and stage
I liked it dark and separated
I liked it when it evoked the feeling
of being in a darkened grown-ups pizzeria
with just a blinky blippy coinjingling arcade
but the children now don’t find it grown-up cool
that’s fine
things change and
I mean not everything changed
the pizza sauce still tastes like
they poured pixie sticks in there
instead of oregano or sage
most milkshakes less sweet than that red
kids will probably always love that sugar rush
there’s still the ball crawl and
the adventuring tubes to climb
just spread out on the open blazing floorplan now
instead of tucked under stage or into corners
because Chuck always needs to make the tall kids feel real shitty
they kicked me out of the ball crawl when I was seven
for being too big for it and
still, fuck them
fuck them to this day
but Chuck E Cheese exists to make the tall kids feel bad
always will always had
I get it
nearly every thing I liked that has changed
nearly every thing I didn’t like that hasn’t changed
I get
but where the fuck are the terrifying robot monsters
to scare the fear of the Lord and death into the kids?
where did the animatronic anxiety-trigger army go?
Jesus Christ above all else
Chuck E Cheese was there to fucking scare the
motherfucking shit right through our pants with
malfunctioning twitching autonomatons
to petrify us for the rest of our fucking lives
the whole point of Chuck E Cheese was
teaching spoiled ass American children
the true meaning
of motherfucking fear
to teach us
death is coming
and it could be a horrible herkyjerk stumbling rat homonuculous or
it could be an Italian stereotype pizza chef so
cartoonishly racist that the men who put Sacco and Vinzetti to death would be all
“dude, that’s fucking racist” or
it could be a shaggy purple felt golem
staring at you as if you and it both knew that
if you break gaze with it as it sings
the fucking thing will eat you
death is coming
animatronic death is coming for us all
now kids won’t know that anymore!

emotional scars like that don’t just
grow on trees, brother
take away the cool dark setting
keep the piss-encrusted ball crawl
take away Pac-Man all you like and even
take away Gauntlet and RED WARRIOR SHOT THE FOOD
go wild in your Little Caesars Palace
to all the heights of naked avarice
even replace the tokens with little debit cards
teach the fuckers to have no sense of money’s value from the start but
please Cheesus Christ, please
bring back the unholy robot chorus, Chuck
for fuck’s sake Chuck
the children need to know existential dread early and often
bring that clacking fear back to the children
how will they ever be able to survive
the awfulness of Trump without
being innoculated with the horror of
knowing those fucking robots are going to kill you when
all you wanted to do was eat some mediocre pizza
and play Michael Jackson Moonwalker in three player mode
bring back the devil robots
teach them the fear again
bring back the horror show
at least give
this old man that
you monster