Wood Paneling in Book Four: Ichi-no-Tani 2017

I am currently staring at wood paneling; it covers my Ames Office. Literally. Covers. Every wall. Drop down ceiling. Old wooden desk with a glass top shattered at the left side and never repaired. Shattered long before I arrived, I would note.

Today has been… a day? As the bosses are entirely wrapped up in their China Trip and as my fever broke… today has been a day of me e-mail Chinese Boss the things she has requested… waiting to hear back from her… not hearing back from her… and then following up in person. To be told that, Deadline stands, she just isn’t sure when she’ll get a chance to look at my work. This is how she is on many things. For instance, while in China… she has scheduled 3 meetings with the government, 2 meetings with other law firms, and several meetings with clients (prospective investors in US Businesses… or more honestly, Foreign Investors looking to Outbid Local Investors). Plus see her family. Plus stay available to US Clients between the hours of 9 p.m. and midnight (Chinese Time). Or 8 am to 11 am Iowa Time. And this is who she is. And this is why I can’t be for this firm. Because… I’m feeling better today than I have all week… do you know why? Because I got 8 hours of sleep. Instead of 5. And that makes a big difference.

So, yeah… Bosses were extra nice to me today. Which was the most transparent thing I’ve ever seen. Leading up to this? Not so much. But within 72 hours of me being the firm’s only attorney within the confines of the United States? Super nice. Even when I made mistakes… like agreeing to meet a couple to review their prenup. Apparently, we “just draft, we don’t meet.” I agree, they didn’t pay us for meetings. But if what we drafted doesn’t meet with the client’s expectations, that is bad for business. Let’s call this a learning experience and… if the clients like it, I’ll know to trust my drafting. If the clients have a lot of complaints and questions; then I know I have a lot of work to do. Customer satisfaction still matters, yes? Or this other thing… White Boss asked me to Invent a Motion Out of Thin Air. Cool, can do. But it didn’t have everything he wanted me to include in it. Instead of his usual snippy douchey self; he just sent me an e-mail reminding me “to file a motion that includes X and Y”. Any other day? He would have said, “Your last motion was incomplete. It didn’t have X and Y. Do it again.” This one was just… much more nicely worded, lol. Shit, Chinese Boss even asked if there was anything she could bring me back from China. I… held my tongue to keep from being sassy. I simply said they didn’t need to bring me anything but my connection/interests in China run to Buddhism, Art, Literature, Film, and Martial Arts.

BUT I am still me, with my memories, and my concerns. When they return from their trip? They will not show the same kindness or sweetness. Plus, I can’t deny who I am or what I need. I understand that finding a job that fits that could be difficult. But it took 30 years and a lot of money to know who I am, to establish a personal set of values, and to be comfortable with most of myself. I am not going to sell all of that for a tuppence and being scrapped off of someone’s boot.

I’ve done some fun math (while waiting for my appointment to arrive). This math requires some… assumptions. This Assistant City Attorney job I’m drooling over. ASSUMING they are interviewing candidates and not just “giving it to the intern” (which is a large assumption)… it is likely that the odds of receiving an interview (past October 31) are in the area of 1 in 40 (ish). Winning money in the National Powerball (according to their literature) has an odds value of 1 in 25. So, yes… the math is based on an assumption and the odds are still high… high enough that I am more likely to win some amount in the Powerball.

Well, I want to test that theory. Or… use that theory to justify foolishness, lol. I will buy at least one powerball ticket for each drawing until my bosses return from China. Because frankly… if I don’t hear from a job or win the Powerball in that much time… there may really be no hope, lol.

Meanwhile… Albert Einstein’s autographed notes were auctioned this week. One of them needs to be my life motto… especially considering everything going on at my Firm:

“A calm and modest life brings more happiness than the pursuit of success combined with constant restlessness.” - Albert Einstein.

BOY HOWDY! Seriously. I’d rather be a humble, modest man making $40k and health insurance doing… nothing extraordinary… than be a stressed man hunting for greatness desperately trying to make $250k every year. I know I work for people who disagree and I know I may be in the minority these days but let me say this at the top of my lungs:

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN LIFE IS YOUR LOVED ONES. YOUR CAREER IS NOT WAITING FOR YOU TO COME HOME. YOUR MONEY WON’T WIPE YOUR TEARS FOR YOU. FAME WON’T EMBRACE YOU ON COLD NIGHTS. YOUR LOVED ONES BUILD THE WORLD OF HAPPINESS AND DREAMS; TO SELECT AGAINST THEM IS TO SELECT A WORLD OF MISERY AND SORROW