Another day in New Diary

This is another day and another entry. I got up at 1:am.today. I tried going back to sleep but couldn’t. I think I got about five hours of sleep last night. I’m not sure when I went to bed. This is going to be a long day.

I had a fairly good day yesterday. My morning was bad I started thinking about my meds and wondering if I am going to get them this month. I got very anxious. I was able to nip that in the bud. I began reading. Reading is very relaxing to me. I get involved in a good book and I forget about my problems. I read two chapters in this one book I’m reading a good book by one of my favorite historians Stephen E Ambrose Citizen Soldiers: The U.S Army from the No4rmandy Beaches top the Bulge and the Surrender of Germany.

I bought three books this month. One of them is Stephen and Owen King’s new book Sleeping Beauties. It is about a world where all the women fall a sleep. Men start fighting each other. I think I’m going to read this one next. I’ve been saving it for Halloween. I also got Dan Brown’s new novel Origin and John le Carre book Legacy of Spies. I have enough books to get me through the month.

I slept pretty good last night but had a weird dream. I had a dream that I bought two vans. I was driving one of them down the street in Wellsburg. I passed this one building where I used to work. All the men were outside on the opposite side of the street. I saw this one guy I worked with,. They were banging drums. I talked with him for a few minutes. I told him I was out exercising and asked if they were on strike. I turned around and the building was gone. In its place there was a field. They had a Civil War encampment. The men from Eagles were watching a Civil War battle being reenacted. In my dream I saw Confederate cavalry charge a Union camp. Then the drums began playing and the Union boys lined up to face their enemy.

This was when I woke up. I thought what a weird dream. After all these years I am still dreaming of Eagle Manufacturing and the people I knew back then. Then it turned into a stupid Civil war battle. I swear I have the weirdest and most vivid dreams of anyone.

I have a doctor’s appointment today. I see this on Dr a Dr Isla . I didn’t want to go. Last time I went I he found this malignant tumor on m lip. I was thinking yesterday that I he might find another tumor. I didn’t want to go see him. I was talking with my case manager yesterday about canceling. She convinced me otherwise. Said she will take me shopping after the appointment. I really don’t want to go but I need a few things from Wal Mart. So I guess I will be going to the frigging dr’s appointment.

I was thinking yesterday about the only time I leave my apartment is when I go to Wal Mart or doctor’s appointment. I remember when I was a little bit younger. I used to go all over the place. I did a lot of walking and I would walk all over downtown. I had a pass at the Millsop and I thought about the times I used to walk down there to work out and go swimming. I would leave the building at 6 go to the MIllsop and work out unti the library opened. Then I would spend most of the day at the library.

I was talking about this with Chocolatechip yesterday. She said I could go outside and talk to people. She is right. I could go outside. I am still convinced people in this apt building hate me. It is as frigging phobia or something I have. I do not like to be around people. Hell I freak out when I have to go to Wal Mart.

Oh well I guess I am crazy for thinking this way. I am probably delusional or something like that. Hell I am just plain crazy