I am not this body or mind. in The grotesque metamorphosis of a Bi-Polar human into a Tri-polar monster.

Just like the waves in the ocean, a tiny little splash of malt liquor in the sea of drank, 40 more milligrams of Latuda through your nervous system.

It’s hard to not feel separate from the rest of the world.

Like, I understand that I’m not…separate. I mean, not entirely, like…I understand that my reality is a subjective view…a fractal.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I understand that I am merely a particle that makes up a single thread in the fabric of the universe…and inside of that particle is the whole of the universe. I get this.

But I still feel so alone.

I finally bought that new car. It’s the newest and nicest car I have ever owned. It’s a 2014 Toyota Camry with only 30,000 miles and I’m sitting here looking at myself like, “I’m going to need a bigger stick to fend off all these women that are going to be hurling themselves at me.”

But I don’t actually have a stick.
And there aren’t any women.

I mean, like…there are women. I think roughly half the world is comprised of females…or like, maybe that’s not a true statistic anymore because gender is a construct and everything.

It’s probably better that I don’t have to hit anyone with a stick though, because I’m really not a very violent person and I also don’t want to go back to jail.

But I’ll tell you one thing: When people touch me it makes my skin crawl.

“Gotta save my ‘fuck-it’s’, so we don’t kick the same bucket.”

I’ve been wondering what I’m actually doing on this site. Like, do I even like to write? Am I accomplishing anything? Does anyone actually enjoy reading this brain diarrhea? Did I spell “diarrhea” correctly? Yes…I did…why the hell do I know how to spell diarrhea correctly? How often do I use that word? Apparently a lot more than I thought I did.

“Stay woke…[n-word] creepin”

The only thing worse than saying the n-word is saying “n-word”.

God damn, thanks Childish Gambino, now I feel super fucking racist. Where do I sign up to go back and retroactively vote for Trump? Is that something you can do? Like a suicide machine where you’re just like “FUCK THE WORLD! I DIDN’T VOTE FOR TRUMP BUT NOW I WISH I WOULD HAVE. PASS ON TO THE NEXT LIFE MOTHER FUCKERS!”

I don’t think that would actually be a good idea though, I think your legacy would just be like: “This guy was a douche” and that’s the only way anyone would remember you. The entire Latino community would be like, “Dane always seemed like a really troubled guy, but he was nice enough for the most part…right up until he went back in time and voted for Trump and then told the whole world to go fuck themselves and then he killed himself…it was just a very selfish thing to do.”

Fucking Nazi’s man.
I’d way rather deal with Nihilists.

I just listen to Run The Jewels all day and pretend like I’m about to start the revolution. I feel like I’m super hip. I feel like I’m super woke. I understand the troubles of humanity and I am here to heal them!

…and then someone on facebook is like “STFU irrelevant white man, no one even likes you! SMASH THE PATRIARCHY!”

And I’m sitting here like, “I agree with you! Fuck the patriarchy! I suck too! Let’s be friends!”

hahaha…but that never works. I don’t have any friends.

jkjkjkjk
I have friends.
I’m just ambivalent about most of them. I can’t tell if we actually have fun or if we’re just kind of passing time until we die.

They’re all great people, it’s not them, it’s me.

I’m me.

I’ve always been me.

I was born me and I’m going to die me and then after that I will still be me, floating around somewhere, independently dependent.

There are too many “e’s” in the word “dependent”. I’d like to motion to throw an “a” and an “i” in there somewhere.

Okay okay okay…I think I’m done. I think I’ve written all that I can right now.
What does this even mean?

var answer = prompt(‘What does this even mean?’);

if (answer.toLowerCase() === “What does what mean?”) {
alert(‘Correct!’);
} else {
alert(‘Look inside of yourself’)
}

alert(‘Thank you for reading, I love you.’)