Monday Morning in New Diary

I had a very shitty morning yesterday. Every bone in my body was aching. Also I felt so tired. I did not want to get going. I felt like shit. Then Chocolatechip cam e up for a while. She fixed a bowl of oatmeal. I took an ibuprofen That helped with the pain somewhat I felt so overwhelmed. I had a sink full of dishes and my place was a mess. All I wanted to do was lay on my couch. I was so tired I didn’t feel like reading.

I did perk up somewhat late in the afternoon. I took out my trash. I cleaned up my kitchen. Chocolatechip came up. She mended my dress pants. We had a nice long talk. She was saying I need a new worker. When we thought we were getting married she was helping me like crazy. She was telling me yesterday that she cannot do double duty. I said I will call down there next week. I was wondering if they closed my case. We talked about getting another agency We were not too impressed with WV Choice.

I thought about what she said. When I fired my last worker I thought I could handle things myself. Now I am not so sure. I felt very depressed. I kept looking around my apartment. I was saying to myself I am 66 years old. I can’t seem to take care of an apartment. I got so depressed I felt like crying.

I know I shouldn’t have done this but I ordered subs from Fox’s last night. I had my kitchen cleaned up and I didn’t feel like doing dishes again. We were both tired. The subs brightened my day a bit. We watched a good movie on LM channel I felt a lot better after having something good to eat and sitting next to Chocolatechip She left shortly after the movie was over. We chatted on FB and then went to bed.

I was feeling good for a while. Then I had a bad night. I could not sleep. Anxiety got the better of me. I wasn’t worried about anything in particular but I was worried about everything. I tried to divert my thoughts. I picked up my Nook and started to read. I was up till about 1 am and I did a lot of reading Sunday night. I was able to get some sleep

I hope today will be better