Sunday Morning in New Diary

Well I have my old case manager back. She came for a home visit Friday at 4 it did not go very well. I really got anxious when she was here. She kept asking a battery of questions. I can’t remember all of them. They pertained to my current status. I told her the depression has been low. I said I was having problems with anxiety. I told her about Wednesday night. Sjhe asked if I had any thoughts of suicide. I said no not at this time but I did in the past. I was telling her about reconciling with Chocolatechip and things have been going pretty good. She did not have much to say about that.

Whenever I had to go through these sessions with her I feel I have to watch everything I say. Then there was one question that I really pulled a boner. She asked about change of family She said I had a sister that died not too long ago. I said yes. Now I am not close to any of my family. Chocolatechip is my family. I thought she was talking about blood relatives. I made no mention of Chocolatechip That was a big mistake on my part.

I really do a lot of stupid thing and this was one of them. In my defense I get very touchy when it comes to my family issues. It is just too painful to go into and I just wanted to answer the question and move on. I just wanted to whole thing to end so we could eat dinner. Then it was over with and I was glad she left.

I was kind of worked up about that experience. Anxiety was a bit high. Still I was able to sleep, Come Saturday morning I was still worked up. I had to diffuse, Chocolatechip was up here. We talked about The Question. She was not too happy with my response. She was doing laundry on 8th floor. She was up here for a long time. I apologized. I said she was very important to me and the only real family I have. We talked about our differences and I think we ended up on good terms.

I had to take an anxiety pill Saturday. I felt a bit better. I calmed down considerable Saturday afternoon. The day ended on a good note. Chocolatechip fixed a nice home cooked meal. We had fried potatoes and sausage sandwiches for supper. She said she will make a nice vinegar pie. tomorrow.

We watched the news up at my place. I did a little reading after she left. I fell a sleep early