Hurt in The Stuff That's Not Interesting But Is The Most Interesting Stuff I'll Write

I called Richard, and through gasps and tears, I told him it would be best if we didn’t see each other for a while. He only replied, “I don’t know what to say.” There’s nothing to say. I love him. But I love me more. Or I need to love me more and I have to find a way to do that without being distracted.

That’s really what this is about. Trying to find a way to free myself from the distractions that keep me idle.

That’s a nice idea, but it’s not the truth. I’m the one who keeps me idle. There’s nothing but me. Have you seen the picture of a horse tethered to a plastic lawn chair? I relate to that picture so much now.

I feel like I stabbed myself in the chest. Richard was… well, never mind. In many ways, I idolized him.