what do you think is in the burgers in poetry

the fact that Alanis Morrisette did time
on “You Can’t Do That On Television” and
the fact that “You Oughta Know” was mostly
written about her relationship with Dave Coulier
from “Full House” lends that combination to
a number of dark jokes about getting slimed
the green goop falling at “I Don’t Know” and
going down in him in a theatre being titled
“You Oughta Know” can’t be a coincedence but
you know he did the Woodchuck voice during it
you know he was doing that corny-ass voice
“Would you happen to have any, mmm, wood?”
while he was being fellated in the theatre
“Alanis, I happen to have, mmm, wood.”
You know Dave Coulier was that corny
you know Dave Coulier is that corny
you know that whoever he’s having sex with now
age-appropriate or not, loving or controlling
you know he’s doing the damn voice the whole time
“mmm, wood” sex jokes on down the road forever
which I guess is not as disgusting as if
he was doing his terrible Popeye voice during sex
that would be Out of Control
that would be a Dizz-aster
Nickelodeon has scarred all of us, of course
all of us of a certain range
but Alanis Morrisette probably most of all
she oughta know