Gratitude, Oh Sweet Gratitude in Everyday Ramblings

I keep catching glances of sunflowers around town as I pass through on the bus but there are none growing visibly in my immediate neighborhood. So on Sunday I decided to branch out a bit and walked through the creepy low light curved graffiti battlefield that is the pedestrian tunnel that connects my neighborhood to the part that used to be the south east part of the same neighborhood before they put the freeways in.

Someone had dragged an old couch into the mid section of the curve so you can’t see it from either side. There was one of those little bikes that are cobbled together from stolen parts leaning up against the couch and on the couch barely seen was a young white man in a hoody sprawled out. He did not acknowledge me as I walked by and as a single older woman alone I wasn’t about to engage with him.

When I came out of the tunnel there was this wonderful burst of sunflowers.

Yesterday I needed to go to the doctor and I walked around the long way to avoid looking directly at the sun after the eclipse and just in case there was something creepy in the tunnel again.

But I was kind of in a hurry to get back to work on my way home and so I thought what the heck. This time there was no bike but there was a visibly alive young white guy in a hoody on the couch again. I don’t know if it was the same guy but I did tell the young couple going through the tunnel about him as I came out. They said thanks for the heads up and the guy said, “I’ll say hello.”

It was 90 degrees here yesterday. I have noticed that despite the heat young men are wearing their hoods here.

The reason I went to the doctor is that a week ago I had an incident that terrified me, as I was resting in the evening I felt first pressure and then intense pain in my chest. Umm, to the left of my sternum. You know, like, umm, in my heart.

Alone I was like, oh no, do I have to call 911?

It resolved fairly quickly. I took some ibuprofen (I didn’t have any aspirin), drank some water and tried to ascertain if I was confused or befuddled or showing any signs of being off.

Hiking with Mrs. Sherlock this weekend I told her about it and she being the practical person she is and also having had her husband have heart issues a couple of years ago and then open heart surgery I was able to talk to her in a forthright and direct manner without her freaking out. (Well, not too much. She told me to go to the doctor like now.)

So I did. I had an EKG, and blood work done. I have had concerns about my heart in the past and had an EKG about four years ago. I am super healthy and my blood pressure was really good, my pulse good and the EKGs were almost an exact match.

They think oddly enough that it might be referred pain from this slightly wonky thing going on in my left shoulder but don’t know.

What was great was I got to see my actual doctor who knows me from the cancer treatments and later scare and we talked at length about exactly what to do if this happens again. I have a plan.

And low dose chewable aspirin.

I am trying to imagine what it would be like to be a young white man that in his dislocation makes the choice to hang out alone in a dim graffiti filled tunnel on a beautiful hot day in which the most astonishing solar event imaginable is occurring.

And I am very grateful to be alive to have experienced it.

Last updated August 22, 2017