Boom or bust in Flaming June

The last job I worked on didn’t go well. The money was good, I’ll give it that. But the first 2 months were far too stressful and the hours were ludicrous. Then, once the show actually opened and got through previews, I was bored out of my mind. I handed in my notice. It seemed people were puzzled ” Why are you stopping? ” they asked me? “Because I’m either stressed out of my mind or bored out of my mind”. And life is too short.
It’s too short, but working here - it feels like it’s far too long.
Now I’m sitting around the house, watching movies, reading, walking with the dog, riding my bike. It’s something close to happiness. It’s not exactly happiness because… I’m still angry at my mother, but I’m approaching closure on that. I think. I’ve shut down on it, she’s pretty much dead to me. Generally speaking, I’d prefer it if she were actually dead, but I know, that’s wrong. Its wrong to think that way. So I try not to. I just concentrate on enjoying the fact that she’s no longer in my life. Well not much. Solicitors letters come and go, she occasionally threatens to take us to court, but the house is perhaps getting closer to a sale. The buyers have a buyer for their house, an offer has been accepted, we could be out of here in a few months.
And back in Spain (smiley emoji face).
I don’t know what I’m going to do back in Spain. I tell people that I’m winding down on work, I just want to read, play music and do some woodcarving. And ride my bike and walk the dogs.
I’ve almost succeeded in convincing myself that’s an OK way to spend your days. I’m 55 now, I might have 20 years left. To be honest, I’d rather spend them playing music, reading, woodcarving and walking withe dogs. Far more than stage managing corporate events or commercial theatre.
The protestant work ethic is dyed in the wool though. It’s hard to bleach out.

Last updated August 20, 2017