Oops, a nice place to die part 2 in Normal entries

Two entries in a day? 1) no, I don’t have anything better to do and 2) I wasn’t done, but, I also didn’t want that sitting on my desktop indefinitely.

As the old OD crowd who read my shit when it was funny and/or interesting knows, I spent a good three years hitchhiking around the country. With the exception of Hawaii I probably know a place or two in every state that most of the residents don’t. How do I know this? Because no one else was there. Heh. You try, for instance, hitchhiking at night through Amish country.

Over the course of three years there were very few people who actively wanted to rape me or kill me, none succeeded in either. I’m not going to wax poetic about the sixth sense and heightened awareness you need to hitchhike, for one thing if that worked there wouldn’t have been anyone trying to kill me or rape me, I would have avoided them. It’s knowing when to quietly stare down a threat like a real bad ass or when to pull crazier than thou which is pretty easy in a moving car in that there isn’t a hand weapon more lethal than 80 miles an hour of American metal and while dude has to hold a weapon you have two freed hands to grab the wheel.

There were a lot of passive aggressive motherfuckers, however, who decided I had to get out now in some pretty desolate places. Some because I pissed them off, or some like the ghost of John Steinbeck just couldn’t be seen in a well-lit place. Him I forgave. It’s a fun story, I might tell it again some time. Some like this one guy on 66 dropped me off at the edge of the rez because “they said they’d shoot me if I set foot there again”. If it weren’t for all the damn snakes I’d forgive him too. Sometimes it’s better to dropped somewhere desolate at night rather than the day, though snakes crawl out to the road in arid regions because the asphalt holds heat longer than sand and sage.

Um, what this has to do with anything? I damn sure know more about motherfucking Oregon than some motherfucking hood river tour guide. My apologies, not very PC of me, motherfucking and/or fatherfucking tour guide.

Last updated August 05, 2017