Possible NC trip next week in In the Kingdom of Suzu

I say possible because Jeff still hasn’t said anything to his mom about us visiting. We couldn’t leave here until Monday as Jeff plays out Saturday and then Sunday there is a surprise anniversary party for my son and his wife. We could only stay until Thursday but I am not even sure if his mom would be up to us coming Monday because she is supposedly going to be away the weekend right before we would come and would only be getting home herself that Sunday the weekend prior. We could go to the banks (kill devil hills/nag’s head) first but it seems like a lot of waste and driving.

Jeff has been reluctant to visit and I finally pinned him down as to why. Some of his reasons I can relate to.

For one, he doesn’t like visiting since his dad passed. I get that cuz it was hard to visit my dad after my mom passed away but you deal with it.

Second, Jeff never liked that his parents moved to NC to “downsize”. They definitely needed to downsize but they should have done it here in PA. Jeff has a brother and sister up here who also did not want them to move. All the siblings lived close enough that as serious health issues came up, they all could have helped out. My SIL who lives in NC is the one who pressured them to move down by her, in fact the house they bought is the one that she picked out. The house was overpriced, had been n the market for years but the owners would not come down in price. Along came my MIL who plunked down $1000 and made plans to move down. My FIL didn’t want to move but he was out-numbered by his wife and daughter.

They have just as much yard to take care of and have to hire someone to do it. The roof had a leak, they supposedly got a new roof and it still leaks! The bathrooms are all ceramic but the water is so bad down there, that they all have terrible rust stains.

Third, MIL’s brother moved in but it is a strained relationship. NC SIL hates him and won’t go over to visit if he is home, MIL complains about him, he is verbally abusive to her, but she needs his money to help pay the bills.

The money situation—the in-laws have always had financial problems—spending more than they could afford. MIL will complain that finances are tight but then we find out that she has bought NC SIL a fancy lawnmower because SIL has trouble walking but then we find out she doesn’t mow because it is too hot out so MIL pays for someone to mow the lawn!

When we visit, instead of doing chores for her, she just wants us to sit around and visit. Day after day of that gets really old.

When we try and make suggestions as to how they could cut back, it is met with resistance. Jeff is just tired of the drama. He also feels that his mom is jealous of our lifestyle. She gets real quiet if he tells her we did something with some friends or had people over. She also doesn’t like that he is in a band, even tho I am supportive of him being in it.

There is a lot more but I have just given a glimpse of what it is like so maybe it would be best if we just went to the banks for a couple of days, they could come visit us or we will just visit them one day. Of course, the year we did go just to the banks and MIL and SIL came over, what did we do? Sat around and visited inside! Of course it was a cloudy day but still. We went for lunch to a place SIL wanted to go to—can you tell it is always what she wants?—it was horrible.

Well, we have all this week to decide and for Jeff to call his mom.