The. WEEKEND in Book Four: Ichi-no-Tani 2017

Due to the fact that no matter what I do, my wife is put off by my snoring… when I came home from work last night, I set up the guest room. And slept there. Yes, I do miss sleeping next to my wife in some ways but the most important take-away from this is… I slept the whole night through!

In fact, for the first time in a while… I slept well enough to have dreams! My dream involved a unique book store which combined Multi-Media with books. For instance, I found two separate books that had a Tri Fold design. The first part was a DVD, the second part was the book, the third part was a digital audio file. But it wasn’t “triple buying” the book… it was something else entirely. Like… I found a red bound copy of “The Prisoner of Azkaban” and the DVD they were selling inside the book was “Bedknobs and Broomsticks” and the audio book was “The Green Mile.” Stuff like that.

Then I woke up. Around NOON. A good sleep indeed! Made myself some eggs and, as Wife had the day off, tried to engage her in conversation. Tragic and heartbreaking as it is to say… that was a mistake. She spent a good 2 hours complaining about work. SHE HAD THE DAY OFF. And her complaints were of the variety that.... I didn’t need to be there. As long as someone said “Uh huh. No. That’s awful. What a terrible situation.” at the appropriate time… she would have continued for hours! Seriously, at one point I thought… “I’m driving at least 2 hours today… if I died in a car accident, Wife would have to be okay knowing our last conversation was merely an epic monologue of how much she hates her job and her life.”

Finally around 2:00 I excuse myself. You see, I had a speech to give at a college orientation. So I had to leave. But this is fucked up, too. I left my house around 2:10. The drive to campus is usually 45 to 50 minutes AT MOST. That was not the case today. West Des Moines to Des Moines was fine; but Des Moines traffic- fucking nightmare. First weekend of the State Fair. So… congestion, amateur hour, and bullshit. I finally get around that horse shit. Yeah, it added 20 minutes to the 45 minute drive… but I was told to be at the event at 3:20 so I should still be okay. Then I hit Campus Town. On Move-In Weekend. Fuck. Me. Just the parking ramp took a full 10 minutes. Are you kidding me?! Seriously… fucking move in weekend traffic. The whole “I don’t know what I’m doing” mixed with the “I matter more than everyone” mentality.... at its absolute fucking worst. So… Chinese Boss is calling me off the hook demanding to know what is taking me so long.

I finally get to the event and she is FURIOUS. Furious! Meanwhile, I’m sweating buckets and my heart rate is 150 bpm as I had been screaming my head off at the jack ass in the parking ramp who decided to take up the whole driving portion for 10 minutes waiting for someone to back out of a spot. I hate being late. But more, I hate infuriating someone who controls my job.

I gave my speech, it was meh. But I will say this.... college aged Chinese girls clearly love two things. (1) Dressing well; and (2) Short skirts. It was.... nice.

I apologized profusely to Asian Boss for being late and she confessed, as thoroughly pissed off as she was about me being late… she was more angry that I looked panicked when I arrived. “Our future clients should never see you panicked.” Okay.... I’ll make a note of it, I guess. But… uh.... you were furious at me being late. So you can’t just… take that back.

I drove directly from that speech to my Dragon Lance group. You see, that is how fucked up all of this is to begin with. MONTHS ago, my Dragon Lance Group scheduled “Session 2.” I put it on my calendar. Yes, my work calendar. So that the partners would know I was busy. AND YET Chinese Boss schedules a speech right in the fucking middle of that calendar issue. Whatevs? I drove directly to Dragon Lance… and it was fun. People and RP and Story Telling and fun… hooray.

Come home around midnight. Wife has cooked something that she wants me to take to Work for lunch. That is super awesome. Even if our communication relationship is soul-sucking; this practical “providing aid” thing is appreciated. Then she went to sleep. And I have to admit… I do adore my wife. I love her. And I find her remarkably sexually attractive. But… largely because of her emotional issues.... I do still significantly worry. She is near suicidal about her job. She is cold and distant towards me. Our interactions usually drain me of anything good. It is a conundrum.

Meanwhile.... one of my attorney friends in Nebraska who has been doing Pole Fitness won a photo shoot. And this is where I get conflicted. Almost exclusively because of my wife’s words… I think I am a fat, obese, horrible human being unworthy of anything beautiful or good. And then I see pictures like this and think “If I was really the hideous monster of lore… would someone like this be my friend?” But then… I certainly think about that dear old Hunchback.

PS: Part of me feels compelled to write something about the issue in Virginia. My FB is alight with it. I would. I should. But I feel like anyone who reads me already understands the obvious. If you believe that White Nationalism is acceptable in this country… you are historically ignorant. If you believe “blood and soil” is an appropriate chant in the United States… you’ve forgotten everything between 1935 and 1950. Or as many have paraphrased: “My family member did not die fighting the Nazis only for the Nazis to take America through cowardice 70 years later!”