as above as below in poetry

the feeling that you’re at a crossroads is right but hardly psychic
you’re always at some crossroads or another, always making a choice
you just don’t always have the eyes to see it
or the time or resources or enough context
but you’re always making big choices

sometimes when God closes a door
She opens a window but then you
realize you don’t have a key back in
so you have a panic attack by the door
frozen in your inability to deal with
the fact that there is an opportunity
but if you fuck it up you can’t go back

sometimes God closes a door and
opens up a window just to see if
She can slam that windowpane shut
on your fingers as you try to
crawl out into a different world

and if God had the power
to send that lifeboat out to you
God also had the power to not
make a hurricane to begin with and
save us all the trouble
“God works in mysterious ways”
is an excuse not a valid explanation

anyway nearly all faiths have a
few interesting points to make
when they’re still the underdog
give them some power though and
watch those good points disappear
it was always just the means to
becoming the dominant power structure
for the people selling it down the line
no matter how well intentioned and loving
the people who started it tried to be

but as for me
it’s not that life is passing me by
merely that I lapped the bastard
when I was young and
as I slow down a little
it’s catching back up
choices coalesce into a life and
I’ve not given up yet
God’s the fat lady who will someday sing
but I aim to make her wait on the stage
in the floodlights for my third-act redemption
I aim to make divinity squirm in the timing
I aim to make the gods sweat