Happy Things in My Fucking Feelings

Despite my torrent of deppression in the moment I’ve been fighting and holding on tight. Seems like I only write when I’m sad or panicking or some other negative emotion. I got into a fight with my mom today and it hailed like a damn broke afterwards, fitting. But today I want to try to focus on the good. I’ll try to forget that I’m at my witts end with my friend’s co-dependant ways and that my house is falling apart and my finances suck and that everything is colliding and exploding in my brain and I’ll jsat focus on the good for a while.

Started a D and D campaign with friends finally. I’m playing a little awkward gnome. She’s read a book about juat about everything and expects reality to mirror her books. She has trouble making friends and juat annoyingly attatches herself to people. She thinks she is a very good person and tries hard to be, but has no idea how because she does not posses empathy. It’s alot of fun.

I also finally got to eatch a few episodes of Rick and Morty. So far I like it, but the character I relate to most is Bird Man lol.

I’ve been attempting to be social. Spent time with Joey and Cassey and talked with Tiffany and briefly with her husband and that guy I really didn’t like from high school. Also got to hang out with Paul amd Bubbles. Didn’t get to see Tony yet. He’s not responding to messages but what else is new. I said I was staying positive for this one so I’ll just say I want a hug.

Met a girl name Suzy. Seems like there are alot of coincidences in my life involving her already. You know how I am with coinsidences: I thibk there must be a reason. We have alot in common and I greatly enjoy her company. Maybe I should make an active attempt to get to know her. I’m so shy though. Wanting to get to know this other girl too. She’s on my facebook but I’ve only met her once. We have mutual friends and we interact via memes like silly introverts do. I just have no idea where to start with making friends. I’m too scared to even try with Heather. As soon as I start to get to know her I’m sure her boyfriend will find a way to put a stop to it. He always has to be controlling the situation. If not him then his sister will. Not aure if I should bother trying. I think I’d like her though, if I did get to know her.

Looks like I’m about a semester and a half from my associates degred and hopefully in a few months I’ll have a CNA too. Tiff says they need overnight people where ahe works. I’d be working 3, 12 hour shifts but getting paid differential. Not entirely aure what that means but probably it means I won’t need a second job. That would be good. Need more time with my son.

It’s gonna be a busy day tomorrow. And finding happy things to talk about is somewhat exhausting right now.