Sunday morning in New Diary

Well I am up It is 5:30 I slept good last night with no weird dreams. I think the long bout of depr4essiopn has lifted. Sometimes it hits me and I go down pretty quick,. But most of the time I seem fairly stable. I still feel very sad about the break up,. I do not think I will ever get completely over her. I will always love her. But I am not depressed or suicidal. I will go on with my life.

I have been doing a lot of reading. Books have always been my salvation. When I had nothing at all I had plenty of books to read. They have helped me through many a dark and lonely time. I never get too lonely for human companionship. My books keep me company. I remember reading somewhere where somebody said a man is never alone in his library. I feel I am never really alone because I have my books.

Yes I love books. They have always been my friends. leave me. They never laugh at me or stab me in the back. They never leave me They are the wisest councilors the best teachers and the best companions. I can live without most people but I cannot live without books.

I remember talking to my therapist. He was encouraging me to get out of my apartment. He was telling me that I need to start walking and talking to people. H e was telling me one time about how prisoners were put in isolation. They were in pretty bad shape when they came out of isolation. I am not really isolated. I have cable tv. I have the Internet. I have my books. This keeps me going. If I didn’t have these I probably would be in pretty bad shape. But it isn’t like I am completely isolated and cut off from everything,. I think I am doing ok

Oh well It is good to be alive