Gloom in Gathering of Poetry and Fiction

Gloom.
Looking around and realising,
How alone I am.

Fighting all day to be social,
Like maybe this will help.
At the end of the day,
Its all the same.
Alone.

This is the life of a freak.

I have friends.
People care.
But substance is still lacking.

I reach out anywhere
To find what may be missing.
Talking to
Freaks.
Of all kinds.
Trying to find one like me.

I’ve found many.
That share this
Or that
And in the end
Its not compassion that lacks.

Its intellect.
Its physical closeness.
Its being
Affectionate
Without sexuality.
Nobody gets it.

It’s feeling…
Safe
And appreciated.
Feeling…
Respected
And valued.
By other
But also by
Myself.

Gloom.
It won’t last.
But i wish
It would hurry
And move the fuck along.

I’m too busy for this exhaustion
Life is too short
For this sadness
For this defeat
For this nonsense.

Everything
Is a million times harder
With deppression.
But twll the world that.
It won’t let up anytime soon.
No consolation prize
For effort.
Just a world
That drags you down
And digests the weak.

Hard to explain
The struggle of this.
The reality behind the pain.
Not just mental anguish.
Physical.
Emotional.
Like my soul has hit the pause button
But nothing else is stopping.
Life keeps ticking.
Why does it feel like life is escaping me?
I am young still…
But I’m watching my life bleed away.

I need to achieve.
I need to live.
Why can I not do
Even the basics
Of what is needed.

The answer:
Gloom.