From The Trashcan in Hello

What do you call a masturbating bull?
Beef strokin’ off.

What’s pink, 9 inches long, and a girl screams when you put it in her mouth?
Her miscarriage.

What’s worse than nailng a dead baby to a tree?
Ripping it off.

How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her when she was bad?
Put extra doorknobs on the doors.

How did they punish her when she was really bad?
Rearranged the furniture.

I’m actually enjoying the days off. Getting things done FINALLY. Have had a highly productive day. Had a therapy appointment. Purchased a new piece of self help literature to read. You can go over something in your head over and over but when you finally find the courage to share…amazing what immediate amount of emotion can come over you.

Tomorrow Eric is supposed to drop by. Haven’t seen him in a bit. Methinks pizza is getting ordered. Might go cruise around in the rental. Got on the phone with the dealership yesterday and Murray told me they actually had to fly an engineer out from California.

Are you fucking kidding me?
CALIFORNIA?
WHAT CAR DID YOU ASSHOLES SELL ME?