Maniacs in My Fucking Feelings

If I collected all the tears I’ve cried for you over the years I’d have myself a nice littlw wishing well. I don’t cry on command. I cry when I’m sad. Perhaps I was right in the beginning. You were never worth my time. You are not a prophet, you are a monster. I know why you want to hurt me, but what did your friends do? Don’t you see that you are trampling the people who have been there for you all this time?

Gaslighting doesn’t work on me. Seen it too many times. Been actually crazy too. I know the difference, and I can see the lies. So exhausting to watch you put on a show for me. Don’t you get tired of pretending? I never pretended for you. In a way you are dead. You went to the hospital and the boy who came back wearing your face was a monster. I liked who you were before. But perhaps you are not my dream after all. The one I’ve been waiting for. I could never live with the way you play stupid games. Don’t you remember losing last time? Why would you go for a rematch? I am steonger this time. God is with me. Whom shall I fear? Perhaps you are trying to drive me away again so you can ‘save me’. Don’t you see that you are only driving everyone else away? God may forgive your sins but you will still pay for them. I know I did.