Wednesday morning in New Diary

I got some sleep last night. I was up and down a lot but I got some sleep. I woke up feeling a lot better. I don’t feel as depressed and not as tired. Life seems pretty good. right now. I am broke but I got bills paid I have food to eat. I am all set for the month. Like I said before I never cared too much for money. I am happy so long as the bills are paid and I have groceries

I was thinking yesterday. Weirton has a Community Bread Basket. They come here once every month. I do not like to use them. I fork out a lot of money for phone, internet and cable. If I am desperate for food I could cut back on these services. I get a check and I use that for food. I did use them a couple of times. They always made me feel like a charity case. I swore to myself I will never go back to them againm

I think I do a pretty good job of handling my money. I made two mistakes. When we were having inspections. I hired a couple to clean my apartment. They charged a hundred dollars the first time and $50 the second. I was broke. I used the credit card for groceries. Consequently I racked up a big credit card bill. I pay that off and then I am broke again It is a cycle that is hard to break.

But I am going to break it. The plan is not to use the credit card for things like subs and books. That was my down fall. But no more My goal is to have some money left over from my check next month. It is pretty depressing to start t off the month broke

The second major mistake I made was getting a credit card in the first place. My only bills were Comcast and Rent. I was doing fine without credit card. I don’t know what possessed me to get one in the first place. I said to myself I will only use it in case of emergency. Emergencies do not include subs and books which is what I use the card for most of the time. I think getting this card was the dumbest thing I ever did.

Yes I’m feeling in a lot better mood this morning. Keep thinking about the positives. 1 I have a nice apartment. 2 I have food to eat . 3 I have money for med. 4 I have phone , internet and cable tv. 5 I am in fairly good health. 6 I have a worker that comes in to clean my apartment 7 I have a good support system with Healthways. 8 I have fond memories of my former gf and fiancé. 9 I have plenty of books to read. 10 I have an SSI and Social Security check

I remind myself of these things whenever depression gets the better of me. List of positives helps me remind myself that life isn’t too bad. It helps me change my thinking patterns. Then I am not so depressed anymnore. Life is good