Here we go again. in The grotesque metamorphosis of a Bi-Polar human into a Tri-polar monster.

Not a whole lot to write about lately. I have just kind of been working and partying, and then working more and then partying more…nothing extremely productive, really, but that’s fine.

Well…I mean, it’s sort of fine. It’s fine up to the point that I have been okay with it until now, but it’s not really fine because I have a whole bunch of shit that I need to take care of on a really real level, and I need to knock this shit off and get to it.

So today I’m on day 1 without boozing it up. I don’t know how long I’m going to go this time around. Last time I went like two years and some change, this time? I don’t know. I definitely know I want to get a handle on this coding shit, and I also know that I want to get a new car and pay off my credit cards and save some money. So I think I can definitely achieve those goals if I just knock off the drinking.

I have already quit smoking recently just because it was hurting me in every sense, and I just couldn’t come to terms with the price anymore after the last increase on them. I paid like $10.70 or some bullshit like that and just thought to myself “what the fuck is even going on here anymore, man?” and when I didn’t have a good answer for it I realized it was just time to stop.

Anyway, I’m pretty much only on here writing because I’m bored and don’t know what else to do. I’m waiting for a friend to get off work, and I know I am doing this whole thing to be saving money, so going to dinner and a movie is probably counter-productive, but I also know how shit like this goes, and the first couple of days are going to be a little surreal with the way I need to occupy my time and distract myself from the sweet escape that alcohol provides.

I love alcohol so much, I just wish it was free and didn’t make you groggy the next day.

Anyway, I better go do…something else, I guess. something more productive. I should get back to work on this coding project that I am working on, but I got to the middle of it and kind of froze up and now I’m stuck so I’m trying to distract myself I guess.

I dunno.

salkdfjas;ldkfjas;ldkfjas;ldkfjsldkfjas;lkdfj
fuck

okay, I’m going to go do something.

It’s so fucking hot outside and inside and everywhere.

what am I supposed to do with myself?