Gr and Umph in Book Four: Ichi-no-Tani 2017

I know my Wife hates her job and by extension the majority of her life but sometimes… damn.

My wife turned 37 on Friday. This Sunday is Father’s Day. Wife works all weekend. This has upset her greatly. I have (attempted) to be understanding and kind about her persistent bitching about working. Apparently, Wife thinks that working 35 to 40 hours per week is somehow unfair. Whereas me working 50 to 70 hours per week is “just something I need to deal with.” As she works her whole birthday weekend, she told her parents to come visit her Monday and Tuesday. They come tomorrow (Sunday night). I have tried to help clean but… I’m not exactly home a lot! But… and here’s the thing… I also don’t exactly get a lot of time with other people. ESPECIALLY other people with whom I have a healthy relationship… as consistently my relationship with my wife is fucking awful. So… I had planned in advance to sepnd time with friends today. Wife works. So, already, Wife has voiced how upset she is with me. Because while she has to work, I get to have fun with friends. Y’know… never mind the fact that I’m busting my ass a full 20 hours more at work than she is (at minimum). The fact that I get to have a free Saturday upsets her. The fact that I get to see my friends bothers her.

So… I come home after hanging out with my friends on Saturday… and the door is locked. I unlock the door and there are boxes of recycling stacked up in front of it. Wife yells at me as soon as I walk in to take the recycling away. So… sure. I take care of it. I then come back and she is just… needlessly brutal. Accusing me of not helping, of not doing enough to prepare the house for her parents’ visit, just ripping into me. When she’s finished; fine, whatever. She goes to bed and I shut the door to the bedroom (staying on the other side of it). This produces rage from her because… apparently… not joyfully joining her in bed after that ass ripping… also upset her. So… yeah… I’m in the living room getting yelled at by my wife because (after being yelled at by my wife) I don’t come join her in bed.

After she finishes, I say to her that the reason I’m not coming to bed right now… is because I don’t exactly consider it a hospitable environment right now. Then she discusses how she got yelled at at work, and how she cried during her entire hour long lunch break, and how she cried most of the evening on her way home, and how she hates her job, and how she now regrets that her parents are coming because she’s going to be furious and miserable tomorrow as well because her job is such a nightmare and she doesn’t want to do it but maybe she’ll be lucky and get fired and then she goes into the bedroom and starts crying more. So the TL;DR of my interactions with my wife tonight?

(1) Furious at me for being able to spend a day off with friends
(2) Furious at me that I didn’t drop everything to make sure our apartment was pristine for her parents visit
(3) Furious that she works a job she hates
(4) Furious that she still works at that job
(5) Hating herself, hating me

It just… it is too much. I can’t work 50 to 70 hours a week; take care of all of my client’s issues; and then come home to a wife that is just… so angry and hateful about everything. If I can’t spend time with friends at least once or twice a month? Fuck that shit. And seriously… a wife that doesn’t say I love you and doesn’t give any physical affection? I’m not going to move heaven and earth to make sure her every whim is taken care of to make sure she never has a bad moment. At some point, she needs to take responsibility for her own fucking life. So while I hurt for her… I don’t like that she is crying at work all the time, I don’t like that she is so down… but while I hurt for her, I can’t take the brunt of that shit. Either she unfucks her life, or she stays where she is and I simply… deal with her shit. It just isn’t cool. I get that she is unhappy and I’ve been trying to help her with that for our entire fucking marriage. It’s just… I got us to the City she wanted to be in. I’m busting my ass. She hates her life. She hates her job. And she lets it destroy 100% of everything. I’m just… tired.