Your Will Be Done in Maniacs, Prophecy, and Old Friends

Surrounded by people.
But still feeling alone.
Lots of friends,
But nobody that really understands.
Maybe nobody can.

People push their way into my life,
Insistant on talking.
But they cant understand my mind.
Only want to bathe in my light.

That’s okay.
I have plenty of love to go around.
But sometimes it feels very alone.
Did God make me different?
I’m sure there’s a reason.

Just keep pushing forward.
Find my path.
Your path,
My destiny.
Lead me.
I am listening.

The fire is alive,
But the will is weak.
I crave
Companionship,
A meeting of minds.
A real conversation
Someone with whom I can empathize.

Keep following.
My life in your hands.
You will provide.
Make me new.
Show me the way.
Patience.
Change takes time.

For all you have given,
There is not enough thanks.
For all you’ve forgiven,
Not enough remorse.
My life is yours,
My God,
Lead me.

Have I done well tonight God? People rush home to their boyfriends, their husband, their cat, their tv. They go home to spend time with the things they love. I rush home to my Bible. Delightful. I go forward not knowing where I will end up. When things are bad, I know I will be okay. My heavenly father is watching over me. The more I read, the more I see. I asked for understanding. It is coming. I see that we really are made in his image. And I have to wonder, is God strange like me? He has emotions, and personality. He even has to walk away when he gets angry so he doesn’t hurt people he’s promised not to. I always thought this old book so dry. Looking at it with adult eyes it is so much different. Each tale full of characters with blooming personality. I like to fill in parts that are too incidental to mention. Add humor. There is a very dark string of humor that flows through the Bible. If you care to notice. I imagine what these characters would be like in modern day. But I could go on forever like that.

When my dad prays he always ends ‘in Jesus name we pray.’ so when i don’t, my son says “Mom! You forgot Jesus!” but of course I didn’t. I just pray differently. I say, ‘Your will be done’ because I know the power of the name of Jesus. And I am careful what I wish for because I just might get it. He knows what I need better than I do. Surrounded by people that don’t understand - it’s all in his hands.