Pulling Petals. in A new beginnging.

It took me months to work up the guts to tell Mark I wanted to give us a shot. Naturally, it took me months to work up the guts to tell him I was in love with him.
There were so SO many perfect moments. Dinners, especially at Eli’s, which is like out place. Walks, ice cream, whatever. I wanted to tell him on valentines day. Wanted…wanted....wanted.
BUT leave it to me to pick a no meaning day of may 9th. We were in bed and had already settled into sleeping mode. I was antsy. I finally flipped over. “I have to tell you something. just kidding, nothing.” a minute or so goes by and I put my hand over his mouth. “ok, just kidding I really do have to tell you something, but I don’t want you to say anything back. It took me so long to realize that what I wanted was right in front of me for so many years. THEN it took me forever to work up the guts to tell you I wanted to date. And so I have to tell you, I want you to know that I am in love with you. You are amazing and I you just need to know that.” crickets.
He starts talking. “I’ve never said that to anyone before…I guess I am just unsure where the tipping point is. I’m so happy we are doing this and am happy with you, Ive just never said it before.” So of course I take this is a cue to KEEP TALKING. “I mean I have said it before, but not like this. I have wanted to tell you for months. I have never said this first, I have always just said it in response, and that is why I didn’t want you to say anything. I want you to say it when it’s right for you and when you know”
Then there was some more weird crickets and then I rolled back over. At some point he called himself a robot- which is correct lol.
But. I mean I am currently half way moved into his apartment. So naturally, I am freaking myself out.
Dont.
I mean, I have no doubt on his feelings. I really don’t.
But I had to get this in here.
He has been gone since Thursday, I haven’t seen him since Tuesday. He’s in South Dakota. This is the longest we have gone without seeing each other since we officially started dating. PLUS I am moving and packing up the house with my brother. So no, not stressed out at all.
Yup.
This is where I am choosing to end this one.
Until next time.