Time for Growth in Current Events

I think I just got too good at hiding from the existential dread. I quit alcohol a couple weeks ago. I just wanted a cleanse. My reasons for that were small but now I feel that I have something bigger here. For starters I didn’t think it was going to be such a challenge. I had wine everyday and I was suddenly feeling lost. My anxiety and depression was a little trickier to balance but I realized today that I need to face it all. My anxiety comes from the things that I don’ say. From the things that I don’t even let myself think about. My car triggered me this morning. How does a 31 year old man not have $500 put away for emergencies like this?
I’m a grown man. I can’t keep complaining. I can’t keep hating. I can’t keep losing. I can’t be broke. I can’t stop making changes. I can’t keep living in the past. I can’t keep making excuses. A goal without a plan is just a wish. I am going to fix this because hope is not a strategy.