The Best 9 Dollar Phrases of 2012 in Nine Dollar Phrases

"Well I don't know, I'm not a scientist or a deer"

"Yeah but everyone knows Santa has x-ray vision"

"I would bloody love to have sex whilst dressed as a flamingo"

"We should listen to classical music. Without any clothes on! Hey baby,think you can Handel this?"

"PachaBEL yeah!"

"It'd be really cool if my beard was made of electricity. I could be all ""I AM ZEUS! BOW DOWN BEFORE THE MIGHT OF MY BEARD!" My beard would kick everyone's ass. Hell my beard's so long it could even even kick my own ass!"

"I like stories that don't end in my being cattle prodded"

"I can bend Uri Geller's boobs with my spoon"

"Well what I got from that is if you vomit in your beer then the ghost of William Hartnell will help you become a better dancer"

"Stop ruining vampires you sparkly ginger mongoose sucker!"

"I'm a toad"

"Well that's lucky coz I'm a rat, so hop in to bed and lets make some Ratty/Toad slash fic!"

"What's a penguin? You mean that thing that is half fish, half dolphin?"

"Don't make me hit you over the head with the beautiful Polish woman"

"You're always on about earwigs!"

"When the revolution comes, don't say I didn't warn you!"

"When I die promise me you'll chop up my body and throw it in the sea because I don't want to come back for the Zombie Apocalypse"

"I'm gonna drink you so far under the table you'll end up in an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting in China!"

"I don't wanna sound all Mitt Romney but sometimes I think panda's kinda deserve to die"

"It's always Christmas Day somewhere in the world"

"Which British Prime Minister -"

"Batman!"

"Have you read this story in The Metro today? It says here that the sperm count amongst men in France has declined by 30% in the last ten years"

"Eurgh. How do they even measure that?"

"With a teaspoon I suppose?"

"Don't moon the pugs who live on the moon!"

"So just because I don't like shaving and wear jeans all the time I'm not allowed to like salmon?"

"So when did you stop believing in Santa?"

"I dunno. I guess it was round about when I realised reindeer don't exist"