Coincidence in Random Thoughts

I will give this place a try. I had been posting in OD sparingly lately, with wishes to post more. Perhaps i will tell a little story.

A few weeks ago i drove to Port Townsend, WA for an annual girl's weekend brew fest. This is a town my first love (from HS and beyond) once lived after i told him we would not work together. He no longer speaks to me (for years now) and is married with a child.

Occasionally i dream about Will. There is always a passion, a fire, a hurt. He burns with love for me, as he did over ten years ago when i told him i needed to strike out on my own. I am so very sorry, as i was for years and years. He tells me how much he loves me and i fear to tell him that it will not work. He wants to own me, consume me... and i just want to be me. In the background of my head and heart i fear to tell him (to break his heart once more) that i have found someone else.

So, i think, "what would it be like to run into him at this brew fest?" I almost believe it is going to happen. I look for him in the crowds of people. I want it to happen.

Why, though? All i ever did was cause him grief. We were one another's first loves, the one you never forget. But, i was so messed up, did not know who i was. I needed to be independent and he needed to be coupled. I don't know why i wanted to see him.

Here is the strange part....

About a block away from our hotel there was an empty storefront in one of the lovely Victorian buildings. In the dust of the window was traced "Will loves Carmen"

Coincidence? Who knows?

But all i want to do is go back to that window and write,

"Carmen loves Will"