to the tune of REELIN' IN THE YEARS in song parodies

you’re getting calls from Navient
getting calls from Sallie Mae
you’re getting calls from CitiBank
there’s no way that you could pay
you couldn’t afford a diamond
if it only cost a buck
overqualified for everything
you’re pretty fucked

are your debts all in arrears?
don’t even have a dime
student loans after twenty-years?
can’t even work as a mime

you been tellin’ us you’re a genius
you’ve got five degrees as proof
but you can’t afford a car and
live under someone else’s roof
the eighteen years at college
didn’t turn out like you planned
the rising cost of knowledge
I can’t understand

are your debts all in arrears?
don’t even have a dime
student loans after twenty-years?
can’t even work as a mime

you spent a lot of money
and you spent a lot of time
ten thousand useless factoids
are still etched upon your mind
after all the things you’ve done and seen
you’re just another slob
because all those things are useless
for getting a job

are your debts all in arrears?
don’t even have a dime
student loans after twenty-years?
can’t even work as a mime