"MIDDLE NAME: SOLITUDE" in "RESTLESS: POETICALLY-SPEAKING"

It’s not a matter of zero companionship
or being all gutsy with your independence
Perhaps it’s something vertical,
more spiritual
a room for that moment of absolute silence

“You’ve done this way too often,
shutting yourself from the world,”
some claim with worry. “Why won’t you let us in?
How bad can it be?”

If only there were any good enough explanations
If only it were that easy
but words are stuck in the back of her mind
which can only be understood by The Most Divine

Maybe…
solitude is her middle name
locking darkness and hurricane inside her head,
she’s no longer sure who’s to blame
even as she struggles for clarity
on how her life’s supposed to be…

Still,
she should know how to stay happy
It isn’t always that binary
Solitude shouldn’t be that scary
an order to protect her sanity

Really?
Then why are they still outside her door,
wondering if they can come in?
What if they’re part of the chaos,
threatening to reveal her world of rubble?

“What if they are the greatest that can happen to you?”
says another voice. “What if they’re here to chase away your blues,
so solitude’s no longer your middle name too?”

**R.

(Jakarta, 15/3/2017 - 10:15 am)**